I slept with my best friend and I don't want it to be awkward!
A little background info, sorry if the post gets long.
We've been friends for about 3 years or so, but only really hanging out a lot for the past year and a half or so.
I've kind of always liked him, but I never made a move. He didn't seem interested and I'd rather keep a friendship then possibly screw things up.
The other night we both got really drunk and he asked some guy if he could hook him up and he's like
'you've got a girl here' and he's like no, maybe before but now she's like a sister to me, you wouldn't want anything anyway, would you?
I didn't say anything as I felt weird being in that position.
So later on again he was saying things like 'you wouldn't, would you?' 'you know, you're my friend and I don't ask my friends, it's weird...' but I really want a bj'
So anyway I ended up drunkenly off with him.
I knew what I was getting into, and went with it anyway cause I don't even know why.
I'm so ashamed of myself now, I've never had a one night stand before, or let alone sex out of a relationship. It's so unlike me.
And I can't remember the last time I was drunk, I never do that.
So we kinda got it on, and then left and he said not to tell anyone as no one knows about that side of him.
and the next day he said something like he didn't remember much of what happened last night, but lets keep it between us and never bring it up again.
I feel so horrible but I kind of don't at the same time.
And I finally got to know what it's like with him, but I hate myself for it. And I can't face him now cause I feel weird about it.
We decided (drunkenly) that we'd act like nothing happened.
Well I'll act like nothing happened, or at least try to. I sure hope he can do the same.
He's coming round today to take something before he goes out, I'll see how it goes.
Oh and to complicate things more, a while back some people spread 'rumors' that I liked him.
Well I never told anyone, so they stayed rumors and I told him that they were false (not admitting if I do or don't though) but last night he asked if I liked him all along.
Meaning he was questioning the rumors.
Oh and he did what he could back then to make it clear I'm in the friend zone as he talked about other girls and hooking up to put me off
(he even said that's why he did it)
Advice? What should I do to stop it being awkward, and guys, how is he feeling now?