Bisexuality, love, sex, and flirting
Where to start? My fianc� and I have been together two years. We have young children ( different father and 3 years old ) that call me dad. We love each other very much, but we've hit a major wall. I knew she played around with girls before. It was kind of a turn in until she cheated on me with her friend over a year ago. My ex wife was driving us nuts and she figured it was ok because it was just a girl and we weren't engaged yet, just living together. In spite of that she is bluntly honest and will not lie to me. She told me that she played around with her friend. I just thought she meant kissing. She says that women offer her something men can't. She also says its just sex and not love making even though she described it as such. She offered me a free pass to sleep with anyone I want as long as I don't tell her. I've never cheated in my life and always broke it off if I felt like it. She's the only one I haven't dumped that has cheated on me. On the weekend we went to a club. A bodybuilder guy was eye raping her. I stared him down and he left. I expressed my disgust in him. We move from the pub part to the dance part of the club. She leads the way and by fluke we wind up at a table right next to that guy and his 5 huge friends. Everytime I left for anything that guy or his friend were over there chatting her up only to leave on my return. I told her that guy was beginning to upset me. She told me to chill out and he was just being nice. After the second time he was there he was visibly drinker and was hesitant to leave. My fianc� was upset with me because she wasn't flirting and the nice guy was just talking. I seen the situation differently in that her continued conversation was leading him on and if he got drunker, he'd cross a line, and then I'd have a fight with 6 guys on my hands. She told me she thought flirting was healthy and natural and that if she was at the bar with her friends she saw nothing wrong with it as long as she came home to me. I disagree in that it's wrong to lead people on and potentially dangerous. She has changed her mind now. I asked her what she would think if some girl was looking at me like I was desert and kept coming around every time she left , how that would make her feel. She said proud that I was hers. She's a jealous girl. I doubt this would happen. I used to get deep tissue massages from a friend (female) that was pretty. I asked her out before and nothing came of it and we stayed friends. I relayed this info when my fianc� needed a run and I suggested her. She flipped her lid and I haven't gone there since. She doesn't like sex with me, she thinks there's something wrong with her and repeatedly tells me she loves me and wants to marry me but that she also needs space. I'm not a jealous guy, but I'm turning into one. She's a photographer and model and she has her pics on fb of her in lingerie for the world to see and a boatload of flirtatious comments, or guys making wow comments of messaging her or chatting with her and she says it's harmless. These changes have all come in the last month or so. I'm going mad with heartache. It feels like its over, but she keeps asserting that she loves me and wants to cuddle. My head is a mess. She doesn't want to talk about it anymore. Says she's frustrated and feels smothered and like I'm pushing her away by confronting her on where we stand. We have counciling in two weeks. Any advice to help me keep my sanity. I'm gonna try and get out and find new things to fill the void like music, painting and the gym.
