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anyone out there in a relationship with a man who is not the father or there child?/children? just looking for any storys from people dating ?what to expect,guys out there are you all put off when u find out a woman has a child already?anyone with happy storys?sad storys id like to hear them all,am i nieve to ever think i will be part of a proper family or is there really happy endings,thanks in advance
I know what you are getting at because of your last post. The tip to finding a successful relationship is to carefully choose who you date. You are not a single woman, you are a mom, there are two of you, and you come as a package. So your list on who you should be looking for is totally different from a single woman's. Your mistake with the last one was that you tried to date as a single women, and kept your child out of the equation, because you knew that it didn't fit his lifestyle. You didn't gain anything from doing that. Second mistake is believing talk of marriage and a future together like I mentioned before. You need to use what is going with your lives in the present to gauge what possibilities are there. It's a given that you have to think of her when you start dating someone.
So let make up a list. #1- stability. You need to find a guy that has a descent job, responsible, gets a long with his family, finds family important, likes kids and is mature. #2- compatibility. Need a guy that is on the same page as you, like enjoying time at home, spending time with you and your daughter, and is flexible with your schedule, etc. #3- commitment. You need to find a man that wants to be a part of your life and share his life, not just a sex partner that hangs out with you like the last one was. #4-future. You need to find a guy that has a life plan that is suited to you and your daughter's.
Yes there are men out there that love family, you just have to look a little harder that is all. Dating is more difficult, but you have to keep vigilant and choose more wisely.
My brother is married to a single mom. They have been together for over twenty years. It may have been rough (because of his drinking), but he was committed enough to quit for her and raise her daughter as his own.
Same with my best friend too. Her hubby raised her daughter as his own since she was 2 years old. And they have been together for over twenty years. So it is possible my dear.
I've dated single women and was with one woman from when her daughter was 8 until she was 16 when we split (not because of the child though). One thing to bear in mind is that how things work with a single parent with a child depends on things like how old the child(ren) are, how much freedom they have to spend time as a couple. I was with a woman with two young kids and I"m a parent but the lack of freedom to just go off and do things on our own I found difficult.
I wouldn't have any issues over dating a single parent as I am one, many men wouldn't want to raise another's child but it goes the same the other way round, lots of females wouldn't want to be with me because of my kids...It's all about the individual I'm afraid.
My advice would be to set the boundaries straight off - ie your kid(s) come first and always will no matter what & that you can't just be 'foot-loose & fancy free' as you have a dependant. Having said that though you need to set aside time when it can just be the pair of you as the initial relationship is going to be between you two.
This is good advice....Quote:
Originally Posted by zaccarus [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You need to keep your kids as top priority at all times. I was involved with a mom with 2 kids. She introduced me to her kids 8 months after we met. She wanted to make sure I was the one.
We were together for 2.5 years. We even got engaged. But the thing that tore us apart was the freakin ex-husband. He would not go away. He was butting into our lives, and I
grew tired an resentful. I had to break up, and it hurt the kids very much.