First time writer

OK, I've never posted any of my writing before, so I am a bit nervous as to what everyone's reaction will be. But any and all opinions will be appreciated. Be it compliments, criticism, or helpful suggestions. So feel free to be truly honest with me.

This isn't so much a poem, but ramdom thoughts. If someone has the correct terminology for it, please let me know. Here goes nothing...

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Questionable Love

Upon my mind I feel the weight of disdain.
Upon my heart lies the hollowness of my soul.
Too far over the edge to feel any hope, yet too proud to let go.
What can one do when faced with the bitter truth of an undying love ending so abruptly?
Only pain and sorrowful memories to hold on to.
Can you really just escape?
Wipe the slate clean, be rid of the pressing notion and simply move on.
Is it possible to flee and forget when a tiny miracle evolved from it?
The love thought to have been felt, given, and received... I ask myself now if it was real or a fiction of my imagination.
Felt so grand one instant, a void the next.
Was it love or mere pity?
One would lean towards the latter were they to simply catch a glimpse of the life lead.
You wish it not to be so, but the signs are unmistakeable.
Taking that into mind, looking at all the facts, one would think the love to be superficial.
Perhaps based simply on the ever abundant sex in the beginning and nothing more.
And as such, choose to break away, to start anew.
Only to be faced with a different barrage of problems...
Is there someone else?
If so, with this someone else be the same or actually love with the pureness of his heart?
Take you in an embrace to swear his love for you and actually see it in his eyes.
And not only in the instances of sobriety, but always.
To give oneself to another, to be reckless in love.
And so the question remains...
Should one hold on to a shattered dream or risk all yet again in the search for true love?

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Let me know what you think.