Guy advice needed!!

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21-06-12, 09:10 PM
Elphaba

Guy advice needed!!

Hi Guys
I've been seeing a guy for about two months. During this time we've both been really busy and so have seen one another on average every other week. He contacts me every day without fail though, and is always really nice with his messages.
The only thing thats bugging me is I have no clue where I stand with this guy - and I mean NO idea at all! I really want to know if he is dating other people but I don't want to scare him away, or make him think I want to rush him down the isle or anything! I dont! I just want to know if we are both on the same page.
He rarely talks about meeting up, its as if he takes it for granted that we will, but I don't understand why a guy would contact me every day and take an interest in my life the way he is doing, then not mention meeting 'in the flesh'.
So in a nutshell I kind of want to ask the dreaded 'where do we stand' question, without scaring him and without giving him the impression I want full blown seriousness immediately!!!
Any advice or opinions on this would be really really appreciated :)
22-06-12, 12:05 AM
Sixpacj

IMHO you need to convey to him, in no uncertain terms, that you like him too. He will then, most likely, muster up enough courage/feel reassured enough to ask you out.

Why don't you, when he contacts you next time, answer something along the lines of "thanks for your message/call, it made me happy." He should then understand you like him too and make a move.
22-06-12, 03:12 AM
Sonrisa

he sounds married to me.
22-06-12, 04:03 AM
Wakeup

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sonrisa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

he sounds married to me.

I agree. Have you ever been to his house, or does he always come to your's or only meet you near your home?
22-06-12, 04:43 AM
Cerby

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I agree. Have you ever been to his house, or does he always come to your's or only meet you near your home?

Oh come on now, this girl asks a real question and the thread immediately goes sour with him being married and all the reasons why this relationship is ****ed.

OP - Communicate, that is all you need to do. If you ask where you stand and for an exclusive relationship and he IS scared away, then it wasn't going to work anyways. 2 months is more than fair for this talk. But jsut to be safe, make sure you do see his home as well, just to confirm he ISN'T married :P
22-06-12, 04:48 AM
Wakeup

You know that never having been to a man's home is a sign he is married right? I assume you also know that a guy that is only available at certain times is another sign. I'm asking her a question to find out if she has ever been to his house. She's seen him a total of 4 times in two months and she's going to ask him where they stand? Really? I'd first ask him where he lives and that I'd like to go there (if she hasn't already).

So this "Oh come on now" is really not meant since you tell her at the end of your suggestion that she makes sure she sees his home to confirm that he isn't married?

4 Time she's seen him. It's way tooooo early to ask where you stand, where this is going or to label it IMO. If you've been intimate with him, then I suggest you ask for sexual exclusivity. If he won't give you that , well then you will certainly know where you stand at this point without further words being said. You'll also know his marital status if he comes up with a lame excuse to not have you at his home (if you've not been there yet, of course) So: have you been to his home OP?
22-06-12, 05:11 AM
Sixpacj

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cerby [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Oh come on now, this girl asks a real question and the thread immediately goes sour with him being married and all the reasons why this relationship is ****ed.

She is being insecure and hurt from some previous "relationship".
22-06-12, 07:29 AM
Elphaba

Thanks for the replies :-)
I do know, for definite, that he is not married. I know where he lives and I known someone who knows him (although not well enough to question him on what the score is with him and I.
I'm not an unintelligent woman - he wouldn't have got ANY dates from me if there were any signs he was married.
He does not only contact me at certain times, he contacts me a LOT which is why I am confused.
And yes, because of previous relationships I am insecure, I don't mind admitting to that.
I just really want to know how to ask him what the score is, without making it look like I want anything too serious at this stage - I don't! I am aware that I've not known him long, or seen much of him, I just don't get why he contacts me so much and acts so keen in the 'virtual' world....... but we don't see each other much, especially as he lives very close to me!!!
22-06-12, 07:38 AM
iamaninnocentma

He sounds married.
22-06-12, 07:45 AM
Wakeup

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elphaba [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Thanks for the replies :-)
I do know, for definite, that he is not married. I know where he lives

Have you been to his home? Because if you haven't, then asking where you stand is something I wouldn't recommend.

Quote:

and I known someone who knows him (although not well enough to question him on what the score is with him and I.

Okay, that would confirm that he's not married. (unless you don't know that person well and they' be a creep for him. lol

Quote:

I'm not an unintelligent woman - he wouldn't have got ANY dates from me if there were any signs he was married.

Two of the signs that he's married are displayed in your opening post though and it does not take only unintelligent women to be duped by men who 'don't have time to see you except for once every two weeks.

Quote:

He does not only contact me at certain times, he contacts me a LOT which is why I am confused.

Have you ever asked to meet him for a drink/pizza whatever? If you have, what does he say to you?

Quote:

And yes, because of previous relationships I am insecure, I don't mind admitting to that.

You've not been out with him enough to find yourself insecure with him yet. Why not just initiate a meet and see what he says. If he tells you "no" or he says "no" because he's busy and doesn't re-schedule for a day when he is not, well then he's not worth you wondering about any longer and I would suggest you start to be less responsive to his 'contact' that goes no where.

Quote:

I just really want to know how to ask him what the score is, without making it look like I want anything too serious at this stage - I don't! I am aware that I've not known him long, or seen much of him, I just don't get why he contacts me so much and acts so keen in the 'virtual' world....... but we don't see each other much, especially as he lives very close to me!!!

He's either already involved with someone, too shy to initiate, too busy to be in a relationship but wants to keep you on the hook. No matter what the reason for his flakiness, (as long as he's single) then I think you should just initiate a date/meet up and see what he says and go from there. Good luck and let us know how it goes if you actually get to asking him to meet with you.
28-06-12, 04:37 AM
Love master

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elphaba [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hi Guys
I've been seeing a guy for about two months. During this time we've both been really busy and so have seen one another on average every other week. He contacts me every day without fail though, and is always really nice with his messages.
The only thing thats bugging me is I have no clue where I stand with this guy - and I mean NO idea at all! I really want to know if he is dating other people but I don't want to scare him away, or make him think I want to rush him down the isle or anything! I dont! I just want to know if we are both on the same page.
He rarely talks about meeting up, its as if he takes it for granted that we will, but I don't understand why a guy would contact me every day and take an interest in my life the way he is doing, then not mention meeting 'in the flesh'.
So in a nutshell I kind of want to ask the dreaded 'where do we stand' question, without scaring him and without giving him the impression I want full blown seriousness immediately!!!
Any advice or opinions on this would be really really appreciated :)

If a man really likes/loves you, such a question CAN'T scary him. I think you better to ask him.