Help understanding what my ex is doing

Printable View

25-06-12, 06:12 AM
striker12

Help understanding what my ex is doing

First post been lurking for awhile just getting an idea of things .Apologies for the long post! I’ll try to keep this short as poss. Well me and my ex of 3 and a half years split up once in Feb due to her feeling “un appreciated” and no spark. I did all the usual crap, begged etc terrible anyway we got back together for 2 months but I was far too needy and crap because I didn’t want to lose her again. We found out she was moving away in the summer so we both decided to give it a real go but she didn’t put hardly as much effort in as me.

Well anyway in April we split up again and I went straight to no contact well tried no. Accept a few Furk ups I drunk dialled once and we had a few text convos, then straight back to nc. Anyway whenever I seen her out after the breakup she would totally ignore me I just use to say hi and keep walking it’s really not worth being rude other. So two weeks ago I got sick of her stuff round my place (we had been split up about 8 weeks).

So I took it all back and told her that I was ok with the break up now that time has passes and it was the right thing to do, id read that was the top thing to do. She still has me on fb and stuff so sure she checks my wall and stuff. During these months ive got myself some new hobbies and stated smashing the gym whenever I can. Many females have noticed my added muscle and it feels great. During these weeks ive been out loads and started to socialise with women getting phone numbers and such it’s a great feeling.

Anyway the week after it was my birthday, literally midnight on my birthday she texts me “happy birthday :) x”. I didn’t reply until the morning n just went “thank you ” She replied with “was I the first to text you blab la bla” we just had general convo for abit but I said I had to go to celebrate my birthday.
Later on that night she drops me round a card posts in through the door it just said “to Strike12, hope you have an excellent birthday and a great night out, love (insert pet name from holiday that only I call her) a winky face xx”

I just text thanks for the card. She replied n we had abit more convo but is toped replying when I went out on the beer learnt that the hard way! I reply the next day to her question then she replies to me on the Sunday after y Saturday night out asking if I’d had a good night out. I replied later on that day but my friends had put pictures up of girls kissing my cheeks and hugging me on fb. I assume she seen and didn’t reply. So went to no contact. She text me the following Friday i.e. last Friday saying “hi are you in amt ive got summit to drop round” I text saying “ill be in 50 minutes” I was expecting it to be a jacket or summit but nope.
She was away the weekend of my birthday and in the UK we cannot get lucky charms in many shops and I love them. She went to London and when she was there she bought me some I asked her why she bought me them and she said “just for you” I just said “ahh ok thanks “the convo at my hosue lasted 10 minutes or so just general stuff what she’d been up to but we both had work so she had to leave.

She texts me abit while im out on the Friday night just about the England score and talking about the lucky charms. She even started putting xx on texts I just stayed cool and not too pushy. saying things like "i seen them last week in london and had to buy them" etc etc
I stop texting but reply on the Saturday. No reply. I see her out on the Saturday night and she actually approaches me to say hi n ask how i was I was gobsmacked. Convo was nice and light and she excused herself to dance. I ended up dancing with other women and enjoying myself. I text on the Sunday asking if is he had a good night like she did the week before, yep you guessed it no reply. Is she just trying to head furkk me lol!

It was her little sisters birthday yesterday and becuase i got on so well with her family i pushed a card and some L plates (shes just turned 17) through the door, i did it quikcly as i firstly didnt want to see my ex and didnt want it to look like an excuse i literally got to the bottom of the street in my car and her sister text saying thank you etc i replied " your welcome have a nice day" when i fnished sending that text my ex text me "thanks for dropping those roundwas a really nice gesture :) " i didnt reply for ahwile cz i was driving i just replied "no problem"

Don’t get me wrong I know if she doesn’t come back I win either way because I get someone better. Don’t worry ive gone back to nc after i text her saying no problem. Just what do you think she’s doing? and wondering how to proceed.
25-06-12, 07:13 AM
Cerby

Man, who cares what she is doing, keep hitting the gym and get some attention, find a new girl and let this one slip into the past. I'd stop replying to her, but that is a choice you need to make.
27-06-12, 07:56 AM
caligirl23

Sounds like she is havng a bit of a hard time letting go herself and may have some moments where she questions if breaking it off was the right decision. I have done this- just a little text here and there to test the waters. Do you want her back? If not, then I wouldn't even care and would do NC all the way, but if you do...well, then that will take some work. Text her more then, keep it light and simple and then ask her out for a drink. But, by your comment of knowing you will find "someone better", then I think that you don't want her back, but just want to know what she is doing and to that, I quote Cerby "Who cares?"/
27-06-12, 08:12 PM
striker12

Quote:

Originally Posted by caligirl23 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Sounds like she is havng a bit of a hard time letting go herself and may have some moments where she questions if breaking it off was the right decision. I have done this- just a little text here and there to test the waters. Do you want her back? If not, then I wouldn't even care and would do NC all the way, but if you do...well, then that will take some work. Text her more then, keep it light and simple and then ask her out for a drink. But, by your comment of knowing you will find "someone better", then I think that you don't want her back, but just want to know what she is doing and to that, I quote Cerby "Who cares?"/

I would like to give it another go tbh and this time not be a needy possive d1ck. I managed to have a chat with her yesterday to congratulate her on her new job. She told me all about it then asked me about a recent freidns break up and went onto express her concern for rebound relationships how they just hurt both people. I think she was probing for information to see if i was in a relationship could be wrong. When i asked her if she was ok she just went "yep just getting on with my life" i was like ooooooookay lol. But in answer to your orignal question i would like to give it another jsut unsure if she would like to. Where would you proceed from here?
28-06-12, 08:31 AM
caligirl23

Quote:

Originally Posted by striker12 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I would like to give it another go tbh and this time not be a needy possive d1ck. I managed to have a chat with her yesterday to congratulate her on her new job. She told me all about it then asked me about a recent freidns break up and went onto express her concern for rebound relationships how they just hurt both people. I think she was probing for information to see if i was in a relationship could be wrong. When i asked her if she was ok she just went "yep just getting on with my life" i was like ooooooookay lol. But in answer to your orignal question i would like to give it another jsut unsure if she would like to. Where would you proceed from here?

I would ask her out for a friendly drink and allow the ice to be broken a bit. Catch up on things that have been happening in your lives and use that as an opportunity to see each other and see if the chemistry is still there. It may be awkward for the both of you since neither one of you know where the other one stands, but make it more comfortable by being friendly, warm, and engaging. Do things like open the door for her, pull out the chair, stuff like that. Compliment her. That way, there is that air of it being a "date", but you haven't come right out and said it. You can see hoe she reacts, talks, behaves, and how her body language is. I probably wouldn't use that time to tell her how you want to give it another shot, but I would say something like "I had fun. We should do this again" and THEN see what happens.
28-06-12, 10:06 AM
striker12

Quote:

Originally Posted by caligirl23 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I would ask her out for a friendly drink and allow the ice to be broken a bit. Catch up on things that have been happening in your lives and use that as an opportunity to see each other and see if the chemistry is still there. It may be awkward for the both of you since neither one of you know where the other one stands, but make it more comfortable by being friendly, warm, and engaging. Do things like open the door for her, pull out the chair, stuff like that. Compliment her. That way, there is that air of it being a "date", but you haven't come right out and said it. You can see hoe she reacts, talks, behaves, and how her body language is. I probably wouldn't use that time to tell her how you want to give it another shot, but I would say something like "I had fun. We should do this again" and THEN see what happens.

Thanks ill give that a go although shes gone very cold atm! shes leaving for holidya tomoorw. i droped round a small gift for her new job tponight just left it on the door step, with a small note syaing "a little treat for you during your flight" She text about an hour later " thanks for them, but you really shouldnt have " i text back awhile later saying "no problem just soehting for the flight, have a safe journey and have fun!!" think it was the right thing to do, As i think she thinks i dont care at all i think that could be an issue lol. I doubt she will agree to go on a drink. Maybe in her eyes shes jsut been nice and doesnt want to give it anotehr go.