The Love that changed my life . . . continued
Hi there,
for those who dont know my full story here is the link:
loveforum.net/threads/40599-The-love-that-changed-my-life
It has been exactly 2 years and three months since I lost the love of my life, an amazing woman that have engraved her name in my soul and my heart.
2 years have passed and I swear on my life that I have not stopped thinking about her every single night. I lay in bed look at our photos together, tears in my eyes, I kiss my laptop, I cry I bit, I yell out, I LOVE YOU TEGAN ANNE BAYLISS!!!
You can call it pathetic, you can call it weak, you can call it whatever you like, but 2 years down the track my love for that woman has only kept increasing.
She left because of my religion, she left because I could not break my mum and dads soul and tell them how much i loved her. I had promised her i was gonna do that but I could not at that time and i needed more time. But my time was UP!!!
2 mothns after we broke up, i was shattered, i was in a very dark place!!! I lived with Tegan for almost 3 years. Whatever I did no matter how small or insignificant, memories rushed into my mind. The best memories of my life!!!!!!! Memories when we used to be together and did everything thing together!!!!
2 months after we broke up, I was in deep deep deep depression!!!! Depression! A big word!!! I always said this ****ing word does not exist, it is stupid, no one should be depressed. But there i was, a living witness to the worst disease ever.
I fought so hard! I tried so hard to survive! Bad thoughts abt life crossed my mind every day! I decided to fight back, i went and visited my parents and after countless nights without sleep, I had the balls to tell them who is TEGAN ANNE BAYLISS and what she means to me.
The reaction was as expected! They did not want their son to marry outside the religion but then my mum and dad said something that I will never ever forget! Something that pulled me out of depression. Something that later on became my ultimate medicine for my broken heart.
They said "Son , we love you the most in this world and all we care about is you being happy. As your parents we feel that we need to tell you that your best interest is to marry someone from your religion who will share the same metalitly and life values with you and thus make you happy not just now but 30 and 40 years down the track. But if you feel like TEGAN is THE woman of your life, then we will stand by you and support you and take her as a part of the family because at the end of the day our only wish is that you have a great and happy life!"
WOW hearing this from your parents is the the ultimate victory ever. I was so relieved. I was so hopefull! I foolishly thought I am about to become the happiest man on EARTH.
I tried to make contact with Tegan. At this stage she was seeing someone, but according to her she still loved me and her current boyfriend treated her like shit. I told her that I had a talk to my parents and that I was a free man . . . two weeks passed no response. then suddently I get a text msg!
My worst nightmare ever, she is pregnant to her boyfriend. 2 moths later she moves away to another area 6 hours away from me.
Ouch!!! Another stab to my heart! or whatever is left of it!!!
I felt anger . . . I fet relief . . .
Something in me was thinking maybe you did the right thing. She walked away, if she really loved you she would be back!!!?????
Would she??!! or is it toooo late?!!!! DID i **** it up??!!!!! what can i do?!!!
I decided to start seeing other people maybe that helps . . . i dated one girl for 3 months and then i said to myself what the hell are you doing?????
Today, 2 years and three months, i still lay here every night thinking about her. I have tried everything I can but she IS THE ONE!!!!!
I LOVE YOU TEGAN ANNE BAYLISS!!!!! I ALWAYS WILL!!! I JUST HOPE ONE DAY WE WILL COME BACK TOGETHER!!! THEN AND ONLY THEN I WILL BE REBORN AND MY LIFE WILL HAVE A MEANING AGAIN!!
for my love teeegeee <3
