Please help, I don't know what to do anymore.
I don’t know what I should do anymore. I just want some advice on my next step.
There are two people involved in this story. To make it easier I’m going to call one C and one K. If I shorten someone’s name to a letter, I just want to say that their name actually does start with that letter. Also they’re both males. This is probably going to be a fairly long story so I’m saying sorry beforehand, but I really need help with this and in order for you to help me, you need to know the whole back story. Also I go to a lot of anime conventions so I’m sorry if it doesn’t quite make sense. Lets just go with a convention is a party. Should be easy enough to understand.
Ok so it all started 3 years ago. I met K at a major convention called Anime North in May. We didn’t exchange numbers or anything but for the 1 hour we talked, we really clicked. I didn’t see him for the rest of the weekend but we met again at ConBravo(convention) in July. He was dating some girl and I’m going to call her F. So for most of the day, rather than K being with F, he hung out with me. I invited them both to my birthday party in august. The party went all good and fun was had. K and F broke up about a week later.
Fanexpo(convention) came along at the end of august. K stayed at my house for the weekend and we did couple cosplayes(dressing up like a character. i.e. cartoon/comic) for all 3 days. On the second day we did a huge couple cosplay and a girl came up to us and asked for a kissing picture. We had nothing to lose so we did.
Beginning of September I collected all of my courage and asked out K. he accepted and we started dating. About 3 weeks later he breaks up with me. We didn’t talk much after that.
March comes around and I meet C at MTAC(convention). K use to tell me good stories about C. I ended up hanging around C for the whole weekend. I knew I liked him so I was happy that we got along.
Nothing really happened for months so up comes Fanexpo again. I was rooming in a hotel with C and two other guys. On Saturday me and C did a couple cosplay. We pretty much held hands for the entire day. By the time the day was done we went to eat at this little sushi place around the corner that no one knew of. We stayed up till 3am talking and laughing about meaningless things.
DTAC(convention) came around in December. I had planned that I would take C to dinner at the same little sushi place and ask him out. He didn’t know what I had planned but he rejected me since his grandma was cooking a big dinner for the family. I ended up going to the sushi place with my bros sulking.
Then came along New Years. The one day that had to come and smack me in the face. I was invited to a party at C and K’s house. They’re roommates that live in C’s grandma’s house. (Yeah that was a shocker when I heard about that. Also they dated each other for a bit and C still likes K but K only likes C as a bro.) We all drank and partied. I made out with C and K, and they made out with each other. Bad enough, I realised my feeling for K that had disappeared, showed up again.
Stupidly enough I sent K and message about how I still liked him and that I only liked C to hide my feeling for K. Boy was that a huge lie! Anyways, he responded saying he didn’t know what to say about it.
MTAC came around again and I hung out with C for the entire time. I had planned again to ask him out but he was telling me about that guy that he liked and wanted to date. Which just happened to be my best friend A. C and A ended up talking about going on a date. A knew that I liked C and he asked if I was fine with them dating. I said it was fine. I mean what are you able to say in that situation anyways? You can’t just say no to your best friend dating your crush. For one, A would treat me differently, and C would get depressed. I had to say yes.
C and K ended up talking about it too and C told me that K wants to go on a date with me. I agreed.
Third weekend of March, C and A went on a date and me and K went on a date. For the most part it was fun. It didn’t really feel like a date. Sure we went to the movies but we watched a comedy that wasn’t romantic at all. We ended up walking around a roof for the rest of the day talking about all the people that passed us. We also ended up drinking since it was St. Patty’s day and K is Irish. Nothing happened. Not even a hug.
Four days later, we both brake up. Me and K, & C and A. Four damn days later. (I swear something hates me and A) I mean really!? Four days! Things between me and K finally permanently ended for good. The real problem was with C and A.
The breakup between them was harsh. A didn’t care at all. C went through a major depression. He didn’t go to school for a week. He deactivated his Facebook and talked to no one. He even thought about killing himself. It took time, plenty rants and lots of soothing for C to finally get over it. Because of that breakup between C and A, I like C even more because I have the need that I have to be there when he’s hurt. I want to be there to comfort him and to show him that he’s loved even if he doesn’t know it. I want to show him that I will stay with him till the day he decides he doesn’t need me.
This is where I am today. I don’t know what to do from here. What I do know is that he did/does like me because according to him he tried to cuddle me one day when he was at my house watching episodes of the Big Bang Theory. Apparently I pushed him away though. I’ve also told him plenty of times that if I could go back in time that I wouldn’t do that.
So I’m stuck now. I don’t know what I should do but I really, really want help and advice. I really like him but I don’t want things to be awkward or for us to not talk again. Its slowly killing me to not know what to do. Please I need help and advice.
