I am an idiot!!!

So my boyfriend went through my phone while I was sleeping and found a text from me to my ex boyfriend. The text was extremely sexual. I was telling my ex that I wanted to be his sex slave and telling him how great of a lover he was. The thing is, I honestly don't know why I did it. It's not like my current boyfriend doesn't satisfy me. He does, he's quite frankly the bast I've ever had. I love him very much too. Now he obviously is angry. He wants me to move out. He won't talk to me but he keeps sending me vulgar text messages saying things like I'm going to go out with my cousin tomorrow night and have sex, or why don't you have him come get you, or just get out you can come get your things later. In the past, before this happened he has said some pretty hateful things to me. Things like I'll take you to your ex's house and you can stay there or why don't you just go over to his house where you can be happy. He's constantly accusing me of cheating on him. The second I leave the house without him he immediately calls my cellphone accusing me of going to pick up some man. Truth is, even though he is a mean jerk who doesn't trust me, I love him. I love him so much it's crazy. I want to have babies with him and spend the rest of my life with him. What should I do? How can I convince him that I want him forever? An apology is obviously not going to cut it. I'm so scared that I'm going to lose him. Please help me, I can't lose him. I am 30 years old and not to sound conceited but I am very attractive. I am thin and in shape. He is much older than me, 50. He is not attractive really, a little overweight, and Alaska native. I how ever think he is the sexiest man on the planet. A lot of my friends laugh at me and are constantly laughing at me and cracking jokes about him and I being together. I don't even care though he's want I want, ya know? Do you have any advice for me? Thank you so much.

I am open to any suggestions. Please just help me convince my man to stay with me. Also I just wanted to let everyone know that I have been faithful to him since we've gotten together. HELP!!!!

Every one that put a certain topic, say that they are attractive.
Yo whatever,

The truth of the matter is that you where wrong ! And if you where a teenager you could say thing like i dont know why i did it.
Even tho it makes no sense.

You are a adult and you know why you did it!
And if you like him for who he is, why do we have to know how he looks like and how you look like???

I think that maybe you run into a new relationship without taking time to heal from the other.
And that maybe your ex is more your age and you feel bored cause of the age differences and is have him cause of situation. and not
cause of love!

And if you do something like that and say you want to be with him for the rest of your life it sounds funny.
cause the text was saying all you want to do with your ex, and not with him!
Who are you trying to fool?

-and is with him cause of situation . and not
cause of love!

You know he is insecure and you still sent the text. It's gasoline on the fire in a situation where trust is already an issue, personally if I were him I'd just leave.

All you can do is sit him down and talk about it, he may see your side, but this would be a hard hole to get out of even if he didn't have trust issues.

But are you worried about the situation and feel sorry? or are you worried that he want you out of his house?

Weird relationship. If you are married its both house!
Otherwise have your own!