Read OUR conversations . . . is my boyfriend avoiding me?

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05-08-12, 05:30 AM
jessicasofia

Read OUR conversations . . . is my boyfriend avoiding me?

I talk to my boyfriend on Skype as we can’t always see each other on weekdays. I can’t work out if he’s doing this on purpose or if he's just busy. I feel like the number of times he is starting to do this is just becoming a little excessive and I am starting to find it a little rude of him.

It has ONLY been happening recently, he talks to me for a little while and then always has to tell me he can't stay because he's doing SOMETHING, something he could probably just do any other time and stay with me if he really wanted to.

-Is he avoiding me?

These are the conversations (just the parts in which I feel like he's blowing me off):

[25/07/2012 15:51:22] Anya: Alex? Can we talk? LOVE you. xxxxxxxx
[25/07/2012 15:51:45] Alex: Sorry, can't. As I said, I'm going out in a bit. Xxxx

[30/07/2012 19:35:40] Anya: Alex can we talk tonight? xxxx
[30/07/2012 19:35:40] Alex: No, Anya - I'm not feeling too good right now. Sorry, maybe tomorrow xxx
[30/07/2012 19:57:14] Alex: Anya, I'm going to lay in bed
[30/07/2012 19:57:19] Alex: xxx

[31/07/2012 14:18:31] Alex: I'm going out today too actually - gotta get a membership card for the new gym that opened up recently and is practically next to my place. Xxx
[31/07/2012 14:35:29] Alex: Anya, I'm gonna go see my parents for a bit and then I'm going out. Xxxx

[27/07/2012 12:02:08] By the way, I'm not gonna stay here for long(maybe like 15-20 mins more) cause after that I've gotta go. xxxx
[27/07/2012 12:04:08] Alex: I'll be gone for like the most part of the day. Going out first to do some test at a language school, something to do with an IPL certificate or so and after that I'm meeting with a friend of mine. xxxxxx
[27/07/2012 12:10:50] Alex: I'm gonna go take a shower and I'm going out after that, so I'll have to say goodbye now.
[27/07/2012 12:10:55] Alex: Love you! xxx

[28/07/2012 14:38:38] Anya: You're welcome lets face it you are better at the word association than me Alex! We can talk in a while, if that's okay with you. I love you! xxxxx
[28/07/2012 14:39:17] Alex: I'm gonna spend time with my family today, so I'm going soon! xxxx
[28/07/2012 14:44:25] Alex: See you later, Anya.

[29/07/2012 11:10:36] Alex: I think I'm gonna go and lay down for a bit before I go out with my friend. xxxx
[29/07/2012 11:12:21 Anya: okay, can we talk today? xxxx
[29/07/2012 11:15:41] Alex: I don't know when I'm gonna be home but yeah, if I return later on we'll talk. xxxx
[29/07/2012 11:16:01] Alex: I'm going now, Anya. Xxxx
[29/07/2012 20:03:54] Alex: I do fancy talking tonight but I doubt we'll be able to do so. xxxxx
[29/07/2012 20:04:45] Alex: I'm going to bed earlier tonight cause I wanna clean my room tomorrow morning before I leave for the cinema
[29/07/2012 20:55:52] Alex: Anya, I'm gonna shower and then I'm off to bed! xxxx
[29/07/2012 20:56:47 | Edited 20:57:07] Anya: Okay!
[29/07/2012 20:57:31] Alex: I guess that's goodnight even though it's only 9pm
[29/07/2012 20:57:36] Alex: I love you! Xxxx

[01/08/2012 11:15:02] Anya: Did you get your gym card?! Did you have to sign your name on it?! xxxxx
[01/08/2012 11:15:47] Alex: Yeah, I'm actually going to the gym in a bit cause I'll be busy tonight
[01/08/2012 11:15:49] Alex: xxx
[01/08/2012 11:41:42] Anya: Alex? I'm just going on a walk to the stream with my cousins, love you xxx
[01/08/2012 11:42:12] Alex: Okay, have fun. xxx
[01/08/2012 11:42:14] Alex: Love you! xx
[01/08/2012 11:56:26] Alex: Anya, I'm going to the gym. See you later.
[01/08/2012 11:56:29] Alex: xxxxxx

[02/08/2012 17:07:14] Anya: Can we talk at some point tonight? xxx
[02/08/2012 17:07:46] Alex: Not too sure about tonight
[02/08/2012 17:08:00] Anya: We can at least say goodnight though xxxx
[02/08/2012 17:08:31] Alex: Eh um sure, I might manage to get on skype for that later on. xxx
[17:13:28] Alex: Anya, I won't be staying up late cause I go to the gym early in the morning xx
[17:27:27] Alex: Anya, I'm going to lay in bed and watch some tv or something. xxxx
[17:27:30] Anya: Alex, do you know what makes me feel the most proud? Love you xxxx
[17:27:49] Alex: Don't know. Love you! xxx
[17:29:04] Alex: Just tell me what makes you the most proud. xxx
[17:32:01] Alex: Uhh, I'm gonna relax then, guess you're not there.
[17:32:11] Alex: See you later. I love you! xxxx

[09:02:08]Alex: I gotta go in a bit. xxx
[09:02:22] Alex: gotta hang the laundry to try, take a shower and go to the gym
[09:03:10] Anya: Alex? But I thought we could talk xxx
[09:03:49] Alex: I've got a lot of stuff to do, sorry xxxx
[09:04:44] Anya: But you could go the gym a little later? You actually have all day, if it's open 24/7. Love you xxxx
[09:06:02]Alex: I can go later but I want to go earlier so I'll have the rest of the day free cause I was thinking of meeting with a friend later on
[09:23:03] Alex: Have a good day xx

[10:45:09] Alex: I'm gonna go take a shower and then I'm going out to see a friend of mine cause I haven't seen him in half a month.

[03/08/2012 09:17:34 | Edited 09:17:43] Anya: Can we just talk for ten minutes? Love you xxxx
[03/08/2012 09:18:46] Alex: is there something important to talk about? Sorry but I seriously wanna make up for oversleeping and being late arriving at the gym..
05-08-12, 07:07 AM
searock

Please don't open two identical threads on two different sub-forums.

Why do you take so long before answering his messages?

Quote:

[30/07/2012 19:35:40] Anya: Alex can we talk tonight? xxxx
[30/07/2012 19:35:40] Alex: No, Anya - I'm not feeling too good right now. Sorry, maybe tomorrow xxx
[30/07/2012 19:57:14] Alex: Anya, I'm going to lay in bed
[30/07/2012 19:57:19] Alex: xxx

What happened between 19:35 and 19:57? Did you cut that part of the conversation or did you not reply at all?

Quote:

[31/07/2012 14:18:31] Alex: I'm going out today too actually - gotta get a membership card for the new gym that opened up recently and is practically next to my place. Xxx
[31/07/2012 14:35:29] Alex: Anya, I'm gonna go see my parents for a bit and then I'm going out. Xxxx

Quote:

[29/07/2012 20:04:45] Alex: I'm going to bed earlier tonight cause I wanna clean my room tomorrow morning before I leave for the cinema
[29/07/2012 20:55:52] Alex: Anya, I'm gonna shower and then I'm off to bed! xxxx

Again - why didn't you answer him?

Quote:

[17:27:30] Anya: Alex, do you know what makes me feel the most proud? Love you xxxx
[17:27:49] Alex: Don't know. Love you! xxx
[17:29:04] Alex: Just tell me what makes you the most proud. xxx
[17:32:01] Alex: Uhh, I'm gonna relax then, guess you're not there.
[17:32:11] Alex: See you later. I love you! xxxx

Where were you when he was talking to you? You basically started a conversation and then suddenly left.

Apart from these bits of conversation, do you chat every day for at least 45 minutes? If you see each other every weekend and text every day, it doesn't seem like a little time to me. Undoubtably you need to spend more actual time together, in person. And how about talking on the phone rather than chatting?
05-08-12, 07:14 PM
jessicasofia

I always answer him, because it's starting to feel like that is all he is focusing on.
I have just specifically cut the parts of the conversation in which he tells me he is leaving, otherwise there would be too much.

Yes we do for, but sometimes only for 15 minutes and he hardly ever responds to texts.
06-08-12, 05:40 AM
searock

So to sum it up: you talk on the phone for at least 15 minutes every day, you chat online for at least 45 minutes every day, and you see each other every weekend. It doesn't seem to me that you don't keep in touch often enough when you aren't together. On the other hand, I think that you don't actually see each other in person often enough. Why can't you get together during weekdays as well?

It seems like you are having communication issues. His reluctance to chat for a longer time and to text doesn't necessarily mean that he is bored with the relationship: maybe he just doesn't enjoy communicating that way. You need to tell him that it seems like he is avoiding you for some reason. Ask him if it's true, and if so, why. If he isn't avoiding you (and he just doesn't like to chat/text), try to find a meeting point halfway through. Perhaps you can talk on the phone for 15 minutes and text goodnight to each other one day, and chat for an hour the next day - I don't know, something like this.