Looking for some insight.
Hi all, I am going to endeavor to include all the necessary information to gain your advice, but if I miss something please let me know.
My boyfriend, ex now..is 30, I am 24. We are at a grand total of 17 months together. We started living together too soon. He was going through a divorce when we got together, and has been pretty unwilling to commit through the entirety of our relationship. We have been on one hell of a roller coaster! Our problem is trust. Immediately I know a relationship without trust is doomed. He would act shady & secretive, I would snoop around to figure out why, he would find out, I would try to talk or lie my way out of it. He would forgive me, behave for a while, start back at step one.
A couple months ago, he found out that a male co-worker of mine was attempting to pursue me, and flipped his lid! After his initial anger, he apologized and said he realized that I wasn't encouraging this other guy, & he told me he loved me for the first time. It was to date the greatest experience for me. However, not two months later he was messing around on online dating sites and hiding his cell phone from me..he figured out that I figured out what he was doing, and simply said that maybe we should cut our losses and just be friends. I don't want that, but it's obvious that I can't ask him to get back together..I'm not a total idiot. I know we need time, and we need to repair things, if it is supposed to happen, it will.
Now..for the last few semesters of school I have been helping him with some of his college courses, one class I basically do everything. Due to recent computer malfunctions and my own finals for the summer semester..I didn't get everything done on time. He was angry because he's not doing well in the class anyways and it's a big point of stress and contention for him. He says to me, "If you didn't want to do it, you should have said something." Of course I told him that is not the case and I apologized. Moments later he pipes up again, " AND another great thing is that I have to keep changing my passwords, then I can't remember them! .. How much longer is the lease on this place?!" I reply that our lease is up in March and he makes a heavy sound of disgust. This immediately hurts my feelings..and since then he really has not spoken to me. I said hello after he returned from a weekend away & he just raised his eyebrow at me.
In between him saying that he thought we should split and the homework incident, we were fine. He went on a week long trip and we didn't talk much, but he didn't appear to be unhappybto see me. We were communicative, spending time together. Of course I was slightly unhappy that I was now being classified as roommate and friend, I enjoy him immensely, and can't imagine life without him.
So readers, what's his deal? Did me failing to complete his homework really make him this angry? Is there something I should do or say? This distaste and cold-shoulder routine is very hurtful to me, I still very much love this man. I'm not expecting miracles, but I'm becomming quite scared that he hates me or something.
Any insights are appreciated, thank you so much for reading.
