New Relationship Meaningless, First Love Means Everything

I don't know where to start or what to say. In all honesty, I have nothing but a heart that knows (without a doubt) who its buddy is. Do i want to live the rest of my life under an umbrella of regret and falsehood? Do I continue to deny my heart what it truly deserves? I can't go on ignoring this angonizingly sweet presence in my life, however little that presence may be. I would do anything to have her.

I have been with my current girlfriend for a short time and my heart is telling me to leave it at that. It is often said that first loves are the hardest to 'get over'. My dilemma doesn't relate to that statement at all as my first love just happened to be one of a kind. I haven't condoned relationship advide from strangers in the past, but i need to know if there is anyone out there who can relate, or at least provide advice, to what I am about to explain.

In the Fall of 2000, I met a girl. I was a young teen who knew nothing of the realities of relationships and neither did she. This girl was a breath of fresh air, a gift from God. She loved me wholeheatedly when i knew nothing of love. Despite our age, our love was quite mature. My warm memories of her are a constant reminder of what I will never experience again. Over time, I expected too much. We grew apart as a result of my teenaged typicality, but I have always been careful to remind her of how she enlightened my past.

This woman and I have remained friends. Unfortunately I haven't seen her in well over a year, and we only speak every so often. The funny thing is, when we do speak it is as if nothing else exists but us. I can't explain the electricity or heartbreaking vibes. After 12 years, this love has strengthened. I feel a fire burning deep within my heart, a craving for her heart, her hair, her lips. This woman's existence has turned my life upside down. It is extremely difficult to explain our silent connection in words.*I am still deeply in love with, IMO, the most astounding woman in the world. I always will be.

She holds the rusty key to my heart and I doubt she even knows it (I don't make it easy for her to see). She and I are both in separate relationships, but I will never forget her telling me, on a daily basis, that she loves me more than life. I felt it. I had it. She is everywhere I am, in my dreams, in my mind. Everyday! All I want is to hear her say it again. I haven't a clue what to do. She is the only woman for me. I love her so much it literally hurts. I never cry but I have cried plenty this year.

I love you Tina! I would do anything for you! YOU! I am not going to grow in this current relationship if you are the only one for me, and I know you are! I need to know how you feel! I have almost given up on life. I wake up every morning and think of you.

Dude just tell her geeeeeez.....

Get in touch with Tina and let me know how it goes. If she feels the same, then it will be a happily ever after story, just don't give up man!

Tell her. You have no idea what I would give to be able to do what you can do by just picking up the phone - my first love, my best friend and childhood sweatheart has been dead for 8 years and I still think of her every day. Tell her what she means to you.

Ah man, this has made me feel even worse....the girl I just lost is called Tina! What is it with Tina's!!??

You have to tell her how you feel, don't live to regret it, give yourself the chance to experience the same kind of loving relationship I had with my Tina, she was the best thing that ever happened to me, I screwed up and now she's gone. Don't you screw up by not telling her how you feel! She may knock you back but what's to lose, she can only say no, and if it's a valued friendship you won't lose her over it.

Quote:

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In the Fall of 2000, I met a girl. I was a young teen who knew nothing of the realities of relationships and neither did she. This girl was a breath of fresh air, a gift from God. She loved me wholeheatedly when i knew nothing of love. Despite our age, our love was quite mature. My warm memories of her are a constant reminder of what I will never experience again.

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Yeah, I can relate to that. you still have a chance, you need to tell her how you feel and see what she says about it, then go from there!

Yeah, just tell her. And break up with your current GF regardless b/c you obviously don't love her. Don't waste her time b/c you don't want to be alone. She needs to go out and find the type of love you have for Tina.

I can't thank everybody who took the time to read my dilemma enough! I have decided to tell Tina, I am just not sure of how or when. I watched her drive past my work yesterday and all I wanted to do was chase after her. In the meantime, I am going to tell my current girlfriend the truth about everything and break it off with her for good. She deserves to find her buddy too. And if Tina happens to knock me back, I don't care. Obviously I do care, but I would spend the rest of my life alone just to prove to her how much she truly means to me. I will let you all know how it goes.

Thanks!