My girlfriend cannot get over of my past

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11-08-12, 03:09 PM
Zeynepsbf

My girlfriend cannot get over of my past

Me and my girlfriend have been going out for a year and it all has been the most beautiful time of my life, but there's a problem - She cannot get over of my past..
She cannot deal with it that she wasn't my first girlfriend. Let me backup a little… I've kind of had a difficult childhood and teenage life was also difficult. So I flirted with many girls and even "dated" if you can call it that way, but it was all because of cry for attention.
I made up stories to the Internet just to make new friends and so…I didn't have any friends and still don't. I mean my girlfriend is everything I have and she has given me the most beautiful life.

Sometimes she attacks me because of my past and she is often crying because of it. I always try to be there for her. I left everything behind from my past. I created new accounts and left every single thing that could remind her my past.

So here I am... Asking you…What to do? Nothing basically helps, but I don't want to lose her. She's everything to me.

Please help me and pardon me because of my bad English.
11-08-12, 03:53 PM
cheekxs

Where you from? and how old are you guys?
And i think this is way people need to get to know each other for a long time before jumping into relationships.

So they can get to know each other and then make the decisions that they want to be bf and gf or not.

Cause if you jump fast into relationship all the things are going to come out in middle of it.
and you are then already some kind of strongly attache to each other.

If you was honest from the start before the relationship started about your past, and she choose to have you anyway
she need to stop acting stupid. And still if she realized now that its not what she want she can still quit.
And if you came up with it during the relationship i think she needs to breakup more faster with you, cause you did not
give her a chance to make her choice based on the right facts.

And eater way 1 year is to short to act like the other have to do this and that.
1 year is noting. its the period that one is almost blindly in love and dont know each other so well jet.
If they where not friends before then.

You cant force no one to do noting. And lie on the internet for friends sounds pretty weird to me.
So a lair need to do more then word to prove themselves. cause no one likes lairs.
And lie breaks trust. And trust is almost impossible to have it back when you break it.

Maybe you guys need a break and are not a good match. If she is unhappy i dont think is a good ting.
And why does she trow your past in your face? Is it really your past? Or are you still the same and that is why she bring it up
when you do such a things again?
12-08-12, 12:31 AM
HeartIsAching

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zeynepsbf [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Me and my girlfriend have been going out for a year and it all has been the most beautiful time of my life, but there's a problem - She cannot get over of my past..
She cannot deal with it that she wasn't my first girlfriend. Let me backup a little… I've kind of had a difficult childhood and teenage life was also difficult. So I flirted with many girls and even "dated" if you can call it that way, but it was all because of cry for attention.
I made up stories to the Internet just to make new friends and so…I didn't have any friends and still don't. I mean my girlfriend is everything I have and she has given me the most beautiful life.

Sometimes she attacks me because of my past and she is often crying because of it. I always try to be there for her. I left everything behind from my past. I created new accounts and left every single thing that could remind her my past.

So here I am... Asking you…What to do? Nothing basically helps, but I don't want to lose her. She's everything to me.

Please help me and pardon me because of my bad English.

She does this because she's insecure. If she can't get over it, you need to leave her - this will only cause problems.
12-08-12, 04:57 AM
toknow

Don't leave her, she is that way because she cares about you, if she didn't she couldn't care less about your past. This is a very fragile stage in a relationship and you need to show her love. A lot of love. You must answer all of her questions, no matter how many times she asks you about something, don't get tired or show you are tired of helping her deal with this. The only way she can get over this is if she sees your love for her. You must make it very obvious with a lot of action, not just words. Be very patient with her. She is also feeling this way because she isn't seeing enough of your love to help her feel secure enough in it. Again, I can't stress this enough, how important it is to take the time to help her with what she is going through. Make sure she feel how unimportant your past is compare to her. The only thing that will fix this is love, and no matter how hard it feels, if you persist it will be fixed.
12-08-12, 05:16 AM
HeartIsAching

Quote:

Originally Posted by toknow [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Don't leave her, she is that way because she cares about you, if she didn't she couldn't care less about your past.

Bull. Freakouts over his past doesn't show care, it shows insecurity and a desire for control via coercion.
12-08-12, 05:32 AM
toknow

As you start developing feelings for your loved one you naturally become more sensitive towards them and everything about them, this includes their past. If you don't care what they do, you aren't interested, let alone love them in any way.
Dumping someone at the first sign of trouble, is extremely irrational and uncaring. How could you say you love some one, if you can't devote the time to help them when they need help. It's easy to be with someone when the sun is shining and the sky is blue, this doesn't show that you love them, when it gets stormy and hard, then you will know what your relationship is worth.
12-08-12, 07:26 AM
HeartIsAching

Quote:

Originally Posted by toknow [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

As you start developing feelings for your loved one you naturally become more sensitive towards them and everything about them, this includes their past. If you don't care what they do, you aren't interested, let alone love them in any way.
Dumping someone at the first sign of trouble, is extremely irrational and uncaring. How could you say you love some one, if you can't devote the time to help them when they need help. It's easy to be with someone when the sun is shining and the sky is blue, this doesn't show that you love them, when it gets stormy and hard, then you will know what your relationship is worth.

Do? Yes. Did? No. Who my wife slept with or didn't sleep with before I met her is none of my business. If she chooses to tell me (which she has) then fine, but it does not affect my current life with her - how can it if you're at all rational?
12-08-12, 08:11 AM
surfhb

Quote:

Originally Posted by toknow [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

As you start developing feelings for your loved one you naturally become more sensitive towards them and everything about them, this includes their past. If you don't care what they do, you aren't interested, let alone love them in any way.
Dumping someone at the first sign of trouble, is extremely irrational and uncaring. How could you say you love some one, if you can't devote the time to help them when they need help. It's easy to be with someone when the sun is shining and the sky is blue, this doesn't show that you love them, when it gets stormy and hard, then you will know what your relationship is worth.

I think most people forget who is number one? You are! If you are dealing with irrationality and it smothers you, then leave and find the one who best fits YOU.....not help that person get over their hang ups. Your advice toknow is the reason people are in bad relationships to begin with. Even you have a breaking point so dont say its right to sit there and work through the problems because they often dont go away. Deal with what you can deal with or leave but remember....your well being takes precedent over your partner
12-08-12, 08:31 AM
VincenzoG91

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zeynepsbf [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Me and my girlfriend have been going out for a year and it all has been the most beautiful time of my life, but there's a problem - She cannot get over of my past..
She cannot deal with it that she wasn't my first girlfriend. Let me backup a little… I've kind of had a difficult childhood and teenage life was also difficult. So I flirted with many girls and even "dated" if you can call it that way, but it was all because of cry for attention.
I made up stories to the Internet just to make new friends and so…I didn't have any friends and still don't. I mean my girlfriend is everything I have and she has given me the most beautiful life.

Sometimes she attacks me because of my past and she is often crying because of it. I always try to be there for her. I left everything behind from my past. I created new accounts and left every single thing that could remind her my past.

So here I am... Asking you…What to do? Nothing basically helps, but I don't want to lose her. She's everything to me.

Please help me and pardon me because of my bad English.

Your crazy girlfriend has two options regarding your past: time travel or shut the hell up. And if she has access to time travel technology, she should invest in some Apple stock while she is at it.

Separate from that, why don't you have any friends? I suspect you need to get off the internet more often and spend some time interacting with other people. Get a hobby, ideally one that involves some exercise.