Strange Skype contact. Or acquaintance? Friend? Girl refuses to talk
Hi,
something strange happened to me, and I'm not sure how to interpret it. Maybe someone can help me.
So,... I chatted with a woman for more than a year on Skype, almost every day for several hours. We are from different countries and speak different languages, but over time developed a deep mutual understanding, shared the same humour, had many things in common, and the cultural differences made it even more interesting for both of us. We always chatted without webcam, but knew each other from pics, and she always started the chats since I knew that she, because of her job and her beauty, was getting approached by many men, and I didn't want to be one of them.
In this year she made a few remarks that, in retrospect, could have been understood as attempts to bring our virtual "relationship" to another level. I did, however, not understand it at that time and it also felt strange, since in my culture (I'm not American or English) we try to build a friendship first, which needs much time here, and deeper feelings often come later. Which has the advantage that, if the romantic feelings aren't mutual, you can stay friends.
Anyway, after ~3/4 year I began to develop deeper feelings for her, as we knew each other now very, very well. At the same time however she began to talk less with me, because she was "so busy". Approximately 3 months later she told me that she will marry soon. WTF?! Where did that come from? I became a bit too emotional and told her that I developed feelings for her, something I probably shouldn't have said. I also told her that we should stop our chats, something she refused and said that she wants to continue. I later told her to give me some time until I've sorted my feelings and am able to resume with her as a friend. This was actually not so difficult for me, since a Skype "relationship" is of course not real life. So, after a while I told her that we could continue now, a wish she expressed several times in the meantime.
And now comes the strange part: from the moment I told her how I feel she was always on Skype, which was new, but she didn't talk anymore. In the first weeks it was completely understandable, I mean, she was obviously busy with her new life (it is a long distance relationship with her husband). After a month she told me that from now on she is ready to continue, that she missed me and wants as many chats as before. But again it didn't happen. Always online, no contact. In the following weeks I tried to start a chat, but it didn't work. Strangely, the only time when she was not always online because she travelled to her parents, she apologized while riding on the train. Huh? But still no conversation. This continued for 3 months. In this 3 months she also told me that I can always message her (as I said, previously she started the chats), again that she misses me, but again no conversation. This became rather painful for me. A friend who always tells me how much he misses me, expresses his wish to talk, but never does?
So, after 3 months I had enough. I wrote her a long letter, said goodbye and deleted her. But even now, five months later, she didn't delete me and still has me in her contact list (something you can find out in Skype... and no, apart from that I didn't stalk her. I just miss her sometimes).
I'm quite puzzled about what all this means. Any ideas?
Thanks a lot.
