does he have feelings for me? what do you guys think about this? HONEST RESPONSES
me and my boyfriend met on plentyoffish in may. he asked me to be his girlfriend at the end of june and we have been dating since. in the beginning he mentioned possibly joining the army, and he enlisted in the middle of july. i've recently decided that taking risks and getting your heart broken is worth it in the end, but you will never know if you never try. so we have decided to stay together and see what happens when january comes. however, lately he seems preoccupied and we just went to ocean city together and he was talking about how a relationship is going to be hard when he's away. he will be gone for 6 months first and then he's not sure what will happen. he said what if you meet someone, i don't wanna hold you back, or what if i meet someone and i have to explain to you in a 4 minute phone call that this isn't going to work out. he told me he's gonna write me and he's going to miss me so much and he said it's crossed his mind if he's being a jerk for staying with me right now when he knows he's leaving but then he said "but then i thought to myself..no i love her and i wanna be with her right now" everything had been going great until i found out he still is active on his plentyoffish account. i was heartbroken. it was recently updated and it said "looking for a relationship" i confronted him about it and he told me he uses it as a facebook, it's to make friends, it's nothing at all. he said he doesn't pursue anyone and he doesn't get messages anyways. he asked if i wanted him to delete it, and i said "yes that would make me feel better" and he did delete it, which i appreciated. i told him to not waste my time, and if he just wants to be single and have fun for his last 6 months, then let me know. he told me he wants to be with me, and the only reason he would see to end things is if he wasn't spending as much time with his family (which isn't the case) but he doesn't have the desire to be single and hookup with girls. i've met his parents, he's met mine. at first the trip in ocean city was going great and then at times things were just off. he didn't wanna cuddle, he didn't wanna sleep together, and other times he was his completely normal self. the last night I forget how it came up but I asked if he missed his ex. they broke up a year ago but they dated for 5 years. he said "sometimes, not that I wanna be with her but I'll see stuff in my room that reminds me of her etc." the whole ride home was awkward and I knew something was up. sure enough, yesterday I see he became friends with his ex on Facebook again. he called me and we were talking and he told me he was thinking about me and him, and the military and his ex. he said he just feels like he never got closure from her and wants to scream at her and be done with it. and he asked if I wanted to take the label off but still talk and hang out etc. I told him that would be too difficult for me. he told me he has off and on moments and that he doesn't feel he can be committed to me when he's leaving in 6 months, blah blah. he told me he doesn't wanna get deeper into things and fall harder for me and then he has to leave, and then he said "what if we continue dating while i'm gone for 6 months and then i come back and i'm a different person" he said he doesn't wanna have anything that's going to make him want to stay..so he doesn't wanna apply to more jobs, and he doesn't wanna have a girlfriend because he feels 5 more months with him will make him want to stay and it'll be harder for him to leave. he told me reaching out to his ex was because he doesn't want any bad blood when he leaves, but i don't get that at all. i asked him if he ever even had feelings for me and he said "of course i did, i still do..that's a stupid question." i have so many thoughts in my head and he said a few weeks ago that he sometimes thinks to himself "am i being a dick for being with her when we know the inevitable is coming and i'm leaving, am i wasting her time?" and then he thinks to himself "no i love her and i wanna be with her right now" and i said "you are not wasting my time, i chose to be with you and i'm still willing to be with you right now because i want to be." he has been contacting me every single day since we've broken up. he told me he misses me, wants to bring me lunch, and the other day on the phone he told me he's an idiot because he can't stop thinking about me and he still has feelings for me but the situation sucks and he sees the relationship as pointless since he's leaving. i don't know what to do, i wanna be with him and we agreed to talk in person this week about things and figure something out. i was in md for the weekend so the other night he said "i miss you so much we need to figure something out when you get back." i wanna be with him but i'm not sure what he wants. today he called me after my class and i asked him if he was free this week to talk and he said "yeah i told you i'd let you know when we'll talk please don't rush things you know" and i said "i'm not rushing anything, things have honestly been so confusing for me, we talk every single day and it gives me false hope" and he said "if us talking everyday and being friends is giving you false hope..then i won't waste your time or do that to you cause that's wrong" and i said "it is wrong especially when you tell me you miss me and you still have feelings for me but don't want to be with me? it's hurtful..i can't just shut off my feelings and be friends right away" and he said "then i'll leave you alone..yes i have feelings for you but i don't know what i want..so instead of wasting your time, i'll leave you alone" and i said "i hope you understand where i'm coming from. i just feel like you're hanging onto me cause you don't know what you want but i know what i want. i haven't stopped thinking about you and i miss you so much but it makes me feel like you tell me all these things but i'm not good enough to be with..and i'm sitting here hoping you'll change your mind and we could take things slowly and work things out but i don't think you wanna give it another chance" and he said "did i say that? no..but i do wanna work it out..but i don't like being labeled and that sorta thing..but you assume that i want nothing to do with you..so you blow it out of proportion...just let it be and if you can't handle talking everyday then we won't it's simple." now we spoke on the phone and he's nervous about a long distance relationship and i said "who said we would continue things when you leave?" and he said "if things are going really well and nothing's wrong then why would we end things?" and i said "because you're leaving" and he said "i wouldn't do that" and later on he apologized for being a baby about this relationship but he's nervous and he told me he's scared of falling in love and getting hurt again, because he's been really hurt in his past. and i understand that and he told me maybe we could try the relationship again but just ease into it slowly. i told him everybody's been hurt, and in the end we both would be hurt and i told him i would never hurt him, and he said "what sucks is i've heard that before..a few times..i'm the problem trust me, i wouldn't lead you on i just need time"
does he have feelings for me and could he really be nervous about the future?
