Should I Stay or Should I go?

Printable View

14-09-12, 06:00 AM
Evening

Should I Stay or Should I go?

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. Around 5 months ago I found out that while we were broken up for a week last winter, he had gotten drunk and had sex with a much older woman and it turns out she's pregnant. We didn't have any other major problems in our relationship I decided to stay with him. Now I just found that I am pregnant too. His baby is due in a month and mine is due next spring. I don't know if I will be able to handle living with and helping raise a child that isn't mine, especially while I currently have my own growing inside of me. Does it make me a bad person if I decide I can't deal with it and leave him to raise my child on my own?
14-09-12, 06:23 AM
BackUpOrGetStng

I think you should have left him then if it was a problem. I think you should at least give it a try. Hormones make women insane and irrational. I don't know that it completely makes you a bad person, but it does make it seem like you are punishing your bf, when he did nothing wrong.
14-09-12, 06:38 AM
VincenzoG91

"did nothing wrong"

Really? He got two women pregnant in one year and you don't think he did anything wrong?
14-09-12, 06:57 AM
smackie9

You found out he got some chick pregnant 5 months ago, and you decide to stay with him and have his child too? You made your bed, now you are just going to have to lay in it. You can't handle the fact that this guy has baby baggage then you have options..... you can dump his ass and put this kid up for adoption or raise it on your own or just suck it up. Oh or abortion if you are pro choice.
14-09-12, 06:58 AM
smackie9

Quote:

Originally Posted by VincenzoG91 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

"did nothing wrong"

Really? He got two women pregnant in one year and you don't think he did anything wrong?

That says "no protection".....ew.
14-09-12, 01:38 PM
Boisdevie

Your boyfriend is a dickhead. You decided to stay with him and now you're pregnant by him. In my book that makes you a dickhead too. So I don't think you're really that capable of making a sensible decision on anything. I pity your child.
14-09-12, 01:58 PM
IndiReloaded

Can you cut ties completely (i.e. will he want custody of your child?). If not, think very carefully about whether you want to keep your baby. You will be tied to the father for the next ~20 years.
14-09-12, 09:22 PM
klouieybanez

just be cool!
15-09-12, 12:07 AM
BackUpOrGetStng

Quote:

Originally Posted by VincenzoG91 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

"did nothing wrong"

Really? He got two women pregnant in one year and you don't think he did anything wrong?

He did something stupid and irresponsible, not wrong. He didn't do anything that gives her the right to punish him was the point I was trying to make.
15-09-12, 02:50 AM
Eddie Fews

You have to consider what is more important; your child being raised healthy by two parents or your ego being a bit deflated because you are helping raise someone elses kid.. And just take note that if you love someone you will be there for them no matter what; you don't just leave when things get tough...You guys were broken up and I'm sure he didn't get some random older woman pregnant on purpose. Life happens; and sometimes you have to roll with the punches.

If you love the guy and he treats you with love and respect than I don't see why not... Remember, it takes two to make a baby and it takes two to properly raise one.

Peace & Love :)
15-09-12, 03:11 AM
Evening

Eddie Fews- thanks for your thoughtful response.
Everyone else- why do you even bother reading these if what you're going to say will be useless and hurtful? I'd suggest getting some friends to pick on rather than preying on the already vulnerable on a love advice website.
15-09-12, 03:27 AM
BackUpOrGetStng

Evening, I'm sorry that our responses didn't give you the warm fuzzies like you expected(actually I'm not sorry at all). Grow the **** up, or you're going to make a shite mum. The responses you received were not useless, and they would only be hurtful to an immature little girl, that can't handle taking responsibility for her actions, which judging by your original post and wanting to bail out, I would say defines your character to a T. Good luck raising your baby by yourself, you selfish, ignorant bitch.

File this post under hurtful responses, so you have something to refer to next time you want to whine about people wasting their time trying to help you.
15-09-12, 04:04 AM
Eddie Fews

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evening [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Eddie Fews- thanks for your thoughtful response.
Everyone else- why do you even bother reading these if what you're going to say will be useless and hurtful? I'd suggest getting some friends to pick on rather than preying on the already vulnerable on a love advice website.

maybe you could click the little "Thanks " button under the message :)
16-09-12, 07:25 AM
IndiReloaded

Quote:

Originally Posted by BackUpOrGetStng [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

He did something stupid and irresponsible, not wrong. He didn't do anything that gives her the right to punish him was the point I was trying to make.

I have to agree w/Stung on this one. She opened her legs too... he's the father and this gives him some rights in the matter. They weren't married, he didn't make a commitment to her, cheated and then got some other woman pregnant. That happens too.