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what's he thinking?
Hi guys to cut a long story short, my ex of 9months ditched me for the 3rd time about a month ago (he is 41yrs old and narcassist in nature) He dumped me after going on a family holiday together with his 2 kids and my little girl. It was very out of the blue. He does get very stressed out. Anyhow i let him walk, never begged, pleaded etc........i've not attempted any contact with him, i don't want to. He's emotionally abused me, but i'm getting stronger, slowly, but i still have my self respect. I saw him yesterday for the first time, i was in the car waiting to pull out into on coming traffic. He was right infront of me outside of his vehicle. I Know he saw me, i'm sure he tried to get my attention, but i completely ignored him, and drove past. 10 mins later i got a phone call, it was him, i ignored it (i have no desire to speak to him after how he treated me and my girl) funnily enough the following morning he saw a mutual friend of ours, and he commented that he thought she wouldnt be speaking to him because of me, she replied that she didn't even know we were split because i hadnt mentioned his name, to which he was apparently genuinely surprised. I don't want him back but i do want karma to bite him on the bum. I've ignored him by not calling him for a month, blanked him, ignored his call, and 'apparently' not even mentioned his name. My question is , do guys hate being ignored? He may be angry at me. I would like for him to want me back or regret his actions, just to make me feel empowered because my self esteem is genuinely low by continually being knocked by him and i've tried so hard to remain distant, i would like to hope my hard work would pay off in some form. So do guys hate being ignored and am i doing the right thing? thank you
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You're doing the right thing, but for the wrong reasons. Thinking like you are right now, shows that he's still in your head. Your hard work pays off by you being rid of someone who is not a good partner, and moving on with your life and being happy. Stop worrying about what he's thinking. If he's truly the narcissist that you claim he is, then he never really cared about you and he's only upset now because he 'lost'. Move on.
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You are doing great moving on, but wanting revenge will not help you out. An eye for an eye and everyone ends up being blind.
I'm so proud of you standing up for yourself and empowering yourself. Your dignity and your daughter are most important right now. Take care of yourself and don't let yourself get to the place where you allow someone to emotionally abuse you again. This relationship was a great learning experience to show you how you do not want to be treated.
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It's completely irrelevant what he thinks. What's more important by a million miles is that you are in control of your life.
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Thanks all for taking the time to reply to my question. Ive had a bad few days with my self esteem, despite that ive not contacted him. I'm in a low place at the mo, not because he was the love of my life, but because he can treat me like dirt then carry on like he hasn't got a care in the world. I'm sure he's bought a flash new car too! Perhaps ive been replaced by a vehicle! I feel rude and impolite for ignoring him the other day now.I'm just constantly questioning my actions. I'm so low, and I have no right to feel like this when there are so many awful things going on in the world x
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Don't be so dramatic. You feel how you feel. Just start moving on and doing things that make you happy.
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Your feelings don't have to be rational. But don't dwell on them either. Stop giving this guy so much power over you. You don't spend time worrying if the turd you just flushed is having a great time in the local sewer, do you? Its a turd, its gone, end of.
Go have some fun and do things that make you feel good about yourself.