Totally helpless and heartbroken

So.... this is the story- short version.

I'm in love with my ex-husbands (kinda) best friend. and its mutual.
We have been in a secret relationship for te past year...
Only a couple of great friends of mine and his brother knows about it....
he has been really distant these past few days, saying that he doesnt know what to do,
he keeps hurting me in diffrent ways but mainly by just keeping me and what he feels for me a secret.
so we broke it off (for the 100th time yesterday)
my friend says that i should just not talk to him for a few days and screen his calls and texts and he will be crawling
back... we didnt talk all day testerday.. he didnt even text me like he usually does after we "break up".
im so lost.... i cant eat, i can barely sleep.
this guy is the love of my life...
i just don't know what to do anymore...

First of all, never say a man is the love of your life until you know you're gonna die soon.

Life is long enough to make that we don't know who is the one until we are very old. You're in love with that guy. OK, I accept it. But you don't know if he's the love of your life.

You don't even know if he feels about you in the same way you do for him.

I guess this relationship is hurting you, and if he doesn't want to tell you what he feel about you... I'm sure he don't have good news for you about that...

Be strong. Love is not the most important thing in your life.

It's only one more thing.

Nobody is indispensable.

ok, so maybe the term 'love of my life' is a little big.
yes, he does tell me how he feels about me, i know that he loves me as much as i love him.
the problem is that he is afraid of his friends reaction if they will find out whats going on between us. me being one of the guys ex-wife.
the thing is that i have been divorced for two years, and i do not the whole "golden rule" inbetween guys.
does it really matter if she is your friends x if you feel like you really love her? if you feel to her something you have never felt before?

i think that eventually, everybody finds their love, and starts their life together not caring where or when they met....

but he doesnt seem to feel the same. he is a very rational person that thinks from his mind. and i am more emotional...

I have your point.

You don't care about what think other people, but he is a little afraid of the hypothetical reaction of your common friends, if they find out you're dating.

I think he's right. Two years are not a lot of time. Your friends could think even you had been dating with him before you broke up with your ex-husband once and for all.

I recommend you more patience.

If he loves you, there are no reason to be worried. :)

I wish you the best.

You certainly can't allow this to continue. This back and forth stuff is just wasting your life. The next time he calls you, I think you should ask him to make his choice. He needs to either come clean with his friend (your ex) and take a chance on losing the friendship or end his relationship with you once and for all. If he chooses his friend over you, it will hurt in the short term, but it will be much better for you in the long run. After you get over the loss, you can start looking for a guy who will put you first. Relationships can be very tricky to navigate by yourself. If you're unable to make these tough decisions on your own, you should find someone close to you who you can trust for sound advice. I also recommend watching this video, particularly the last half - there is a lot of good advice regarding building strong relationships. http//fastforwardtomarriage.com/ggr-video

? Why in secret? and yu tryed for so many years but you ended in divorce.
sso why keep hurting yourself by forcing a relationship out of it.

i think you know its over and he is not the one but you are afraid to take the road to
really leave him alone.
and move on .

if you dont make the choice that you need to make by leaving him, dont keep complain about him hurting you cause if you dont want that you would have move on with your live.

i am so in love with this man it hurts... havent spoken to him in the past two days and i feel like im going
crazy. i know i should just get up and leave- not care if he calls or texts but its not that easy. i really feel like we
could have something amazing. i know that he loves me but he is so torn inbetween the two worlds.
i know i shouldnt sit and wait for a man, that i am worth alot more and bla bla bla but it is alot easier said then done.
i just love him so much
i miss his voice, i miss his laugh, i miss feeling his arms around me
i am going crazy. but i am trying to stay strong.
it is so unfair the things we have to go through to find good and solid love.

i just miss him so much.

maybe you have to low self esteem.
work on that.

and missing someone after a break up or divorce is part of the process
to heal from it and move on.

it is not the period to get back together.

you need to suffer and go true those feelings before you can be normal again without missing him.
and get busy plan your days with activitys that have noting to do with him.
soon you will have less time and moments to think about him.
no one can force you to love yourself. if you dont want to make a move
in the right direction stop askng us bullshit and waste our time.
i think you all digging your own grave.
and he know it and he can do what ever to you cause u r that stupid to run to him.
this is one of those cases where they say, some woman love to be treat like shit by a men.
they think that its love.

you have it all wrong "inyourface" i am not talking about my x husband. he could die for all i care....
read my post again before you continue commenting, because you have no idea what you're talking about.

stf off i have better thigs to do better and cear topics to read. i think u so confuse that u dont even know it yourself

ok.... if thats the only language you know how to speek then go have fun with yourself.
you advice is full of shit anyway.
dont get why you have to talk that way. nobody here is trying to piss anybody off, you come here, read something
get it all wrong then start judging.
you wanna judge? go do it somewhere else- in "more interesting" topics.
knock yourself out