Is this what "settling" means?
I've been doing a lot of thinking and evaluating over the last few months about my future "romantic" prospects. When I was in my late teens, I always envisioned myself falling in love, getting married, and so on, and that was a happy thought. But, for the last few years, as I've gotten into my 20s, I had convinced myself that I was "doomed" to be alone because I could never find a girl I really felt strongly about, and wanted to be more than friends with. It was a sad, depressing realization, but I basically made peace with it. Then, a few months ago, I fell pretty hard for a girl I know, and we seemed so good for each other that I almost couldn't believe it. I let myself throw out all those "forever alone" thoughts, and asked her out, and she turned me down.
I'm still dealing with lots of lingering feelings and thoughts for that girl, mostly because I still know her and see her fairly regularly. But I'm starting to sink back into my "doomed to single life" mindset. Or rather, I'm starting to see another possible "future" that I'm not really sure how I feel about. See, I don't believe there's very many girls out there that I could actually "feel strongly" about, and even if I manage to find them, as with this last girl, there's no guarantee they'll want to be with me.
However, I do feel like there are girls out there that may date me, but I wouldn't feel very strongly about them, or very "connected". In fact, thinking back, I believe in high school, there was a girl that probably would've dated me. Had we dated, it probably would've been a nice, easy little "relationship", but I never felt "strongly" about her, because we weren't really that compatible, and I feel like I would've been kind of... bored, with her. I still would've tried to be the best "boyfriend" as I possibly could, for her sake, but I think I, myself, probably would've been more "content" than "happy" with her. Does that make sense?
Anyway, that got me to thinking... Is that what "settling" is? A lot of people end up "settling", correct? Perhaps it's not completely realistic for me to believe I'll find and get together with a girl I feel "strongly" about? Maybe it's more realistic and natural to find someone to just be "content" with?
I mean, I guess that would be better than having no one at all, but I dunno... That paints sort of a dreary image of a long term relationship, to me. On the other hand, I feel like finding someone I feel "strongly" for is more akin to playing the lottery; plenty of people play, but most never "win big". Maybe that's how dating/ relationships work, though? I don't really know.
