Holding on....

summery of us, we just completed our 3 years together but are barely holding on now.

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this was our recent argument and i wanted a 2nd opinion.

Her] im not 24 yet -__- lol cant believe u dont know how old iam! n congrats on your test! doing better than me =] haha, i just spent 2 hours on lab that shouldnt taken 30mins lol
Me] i know ur not becuz im 24 -_-

HER] lol =p just keeping you on your toes! when is my bday?
Me] march 16! 26! 6! how close am i?

Her] not even warm >.> cold! im butt hurt...
Me] such a fat liar! how can i not be close to any of it?

Her] close is a day or two off. you're far from it. fail
Me] haha, okay, i admit, i forgot the date. but when march come around, i look at the note i wrote so cut me some slack.

Her] Haha? what note? so nice of you to look at a note after 3 years...
Me] haha. i guess no mercy.

Her] nope. so im getting charged 100$+ of interest on my goodyear credit card. haha. and u cant remember my bday =o life is so wonderful
Me] if ur being sarcastic then sorry ur life is full of wonderful surprises. at least i ddint miss any of your bday.

Her] haha, thanks
Her again] you wonder why i dont tell you things? cuz i can tell u, but you just wouldnt care. its as if im the same as everyone else telling you things. i can finally see just how far we've drifted.
Me] i dont write peoples birthday down, and i havent given anyone gift for 2 years in a row. sure you can feel down from this but spare me the trouble cuz i know it looks bad on my behalf. i made it up by writing it down n not missing it when march came around.

her] you know, i know i added that in, but you are so focused on that that you cant see the other things that make me sad that i told you about. cuz you never said one word about it. so thank you for writing my bday down, im over it.
me] what? if i didnt care, why would i bother writing it down? u know? is it cuz i didnt take the time to read ur birthday 100 time? and try to remember it? when i apologize, i didnt know i had to sit down and study ur birthday with a piece of paper and pencil. just drop it, i said im sorry already.

her] ur not even reading what im writing, and you are misunderstanding me again. so pls just leave me alone.
me] well what is it im missing? i re-read it 4 time already n i dont see it. me being blind is bad but u leaving me in the blind spot n not pointing it out is suppose to help?

her] i said you're so focused on the dam bday thing that u havent even said one word about the other things ive told you. not one word to comfort and here you are blaming me for being too sensitive about you not remembering my bday.
me] hahah? if ur talking about the goodyear 100$ interest,didnt i ask if u were being sarcastic? and i apologize if ur life is full of surprise! i was referring to the 100$

her] thanks, that really makes me feel alot better. pls just leave me alone.
me] hahhahahahah...OMG. seriously. when i ask you to cut me some slack and you said no, i already felt bad. but okay.

her] you dont see it, i dont care anymore if you know my bday or not. and if doesnt matter that u dont care about the other things going on in my life. you have your own things going and i get that. so theres your slack. this is what it is between us. we might not be complete stranger yet but we are close to it. so have a good night and dont be mad at me for this again.
me] just tell me what is it i dont see? is it cuz im inconsiderate that i dont see u being hurt? i dont see the trouble ur life is in?

her] if i asked you, do you really care about the daily things going on in my life, how would u answer?
me] yes i would care. i cared enough to ask about the finanaicail aids for you. i cared enough to ask about ur failing class n what ur teacher had to say. i even cared enough to look for solution for u when u told me about ur car door. sure i didnt comment about ur 30min lab but eventually i would of gotten to it. i cared enough to still fuking get into argument with u when we are not even dating so why do i have to deal with this? im not even in love so tell me if i care???? now fuking dont ever talk to me again if u think i dont care cuz now im so piss i dont care.

her] you know whats funny? i asked you a simple question, cuz u asked me to tell u. n here u are getting mad again and thinking its an arguement when you asked me. so now u know, this is why i dont tell u my thoughts cuz u somehow always bring it to this point. so have a good night.
me] no, i was already mad 30mins ago. it is funny so lets just call it.

her] so why did u ask? cuz u wanted me to fuel your fire? if u were pissed already, u shouldve just left it alone, but you always do this. so okay call it call it call it call it! cuz i guess we re meant to be strangers.
me] i asked you to cut me some slack, i ask to drop it, i said okay, i get it. i said okay i felt bad but u kept giving me BS like how i dont get it and how i dont see it so i asked what is it i dont get and see n u go n ask me if i even cared about u? hahha. so to me, u obviously dont see that i care about u so i exploded. im sorry. it is funny

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can anyone break this down for me? this isnt our first fight but could be our last.

Why didn't you pick up the fking phone and talk to her? While you did that, you could have quit playing her shit testing games?

buddy~ how about explaining what is a "shit testing games"

Setting you up and then watching you fail. Find someone who knows how to TALK to you on the TELEPHONE and can resolve conflict through verbal communicating to you what her needs are instead of making you play guessing games and when you don't guess right, getting shitty with you.

Send her here to this forum and I'll tell her the same thing. YOU need to quit texting when some immature chickie poo starts getting shitty with you. Call her and if she doesn't pick up then dump her because she's unable to communicate and when you can't communicate you'll be in a shit storm like that one up there all the time.

I'd bet she would hang up but it would have been worth a try.

She wanted you to say things like:

2 hour lab? That sucks, well at least you got it done, right?

I'm sorry I forgot your birthday. Tell me again and I'll write it down.

She wants to feel heard and special. That's what all her 'you don't care' griping is about. Of course, you probably don't care, so there's that.

I'm thinking If she wants to feel heard and special then she needs to communicate those needs. Once he knows what they are, he can then strive to make her feel that way. He'll go on to find someone who doesn't shit test. She'll keep shit testing and wondering why no one gives her what she wants

Quote:

i felt bad but u kept giving me BS like how i dont get it and how i dont see it so i asked what is it i dont get and see n u go n ask me if i even cared about u?

You might consider telling her you're tired of her games and it's best you both go your separate ways. You might want to tell her to learn to communicate or, at the very least have a disagreement in person or on the phone so you have a better chance of passing her shit test(s). Find someone who can say e.g. "I feel hurt when you don't remember my birthday" so that you (in your dense-ness) can at least have a chance to remedy.