I feel awful but what do I do now?

There was this guy who I thought I was in love with. When I first got to know him I enjoyed our new friendship and we really liked talking to one another and hanging out and really connected. However I sensed that he wanted more. He wanted to be closer and emotionally intimately connected etc. He really wanted to deepen the friendship. But I was not ready. I just wanted to enjoy the friendship for longer and then see how things go slowly. He got fustrated that we weren't getting close. He ended up asking someone else out who said no. I totally felt betrayed. Since then I have never been able to totally been able to be free with him and even show him how much I cared. The walls I had got higher. Yet I knew he still liked me but we were very distant and I know that he still liked me. All this time we never talked about our feelings until finally I asked him how he felt and if I ever had a chance with him. He said yes but we doesnt want to get intoa relationship with me because I wont let him close and trust him. But we were able to talk honestly. He saw that I was open about it and really thought maybe there was a chance and liked me but I was defensive and ignored and avoided him because he had said 'No'. Now about a year later, he was hurt by that and kept saying he wants to be friends and that its been so tough for him to deepen our frienship because I am so distant. Yesterday I finally wrote out my feelings and told him why I my trust in him was broken. And that it was now up to him if he still wanted to be friends because I really felt like giving up because its been so difficult. I get so confused. He says he doesn't think I am the one for him and I see it in his eyes that he cares deeply for me yet he denies it. Why is it that I just cant let go and just let him into my heart? He really wants to be friends but I've hurt him so much and I feel so hurt because I do want to know him and be friends with him and wish that he loved me again. I dont know if I should risk getting my heart broken again. Or should I just walk away from it all. Would that be better then to be friends with him and risk the possibility that he will fall for someone else...My heart will break...I dont know what to do!!

well he's afraid because you're a warrior princess. i wouldn't wanna date a warrior anything.

alright, i think that you should risk it all. many people are scared to start something because of what they'll lose. they never think of what they might gain. being that you two are already friends and the feelings has shown through a few times, you might want to chance it.

another thing to consider, most people wait for the right moment, however if you wait too long, usually two people will become close like a brother or sister and once that point has been crossed, you can kiss the relationship goodbye.

raverboy

Yeah well...I only gave myself that name to strengthen myself after feeling so bad. Yeah he is scared thats why he keeps givng me all those excuses. But that is no excuse in the way he rejects me! Maybe he just isn't into me that much..and its time to find someone who will appreciate me! To comprise and give in and try to please him or move on and wait for someone who is man enough to take chances?!! Still thinking...

plain and simple. present what you wanna offer him and it's up to him if he wants to take it or leave it.

raverboy

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Originally Posted by Illusional

well he's afraid because you're a warrior princess. i wouldn't wanna date a warrior anything.

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I dunno, my preference in women is one that has confidence in herself. Not the shy defenseless type that so many people like to date. But "Warrior" is a bit extreme lol

well i too would like a woman to speak her mind, but she has to know when to shut up. hahaha

raverboy

Damn, ...I love the shy girls ...something about them makes me fall for them(as rare as it is anyways). :sad2: ..sucks cause I am shy too untill I get used to the person.

i think that shy girls are the best. they always have that inner evil side that you secretly wanna see come out.

raverboy

Yeah Yeah...shyness is good but being being extreme in that area and being fearful is not..True you got to be humble enough to accept imperfection but not proud to reject needing to change...
Anyway..you sometimes have to risk things and be courageous because nothing ever comes cheap if its worth something.....

Wait wait wait...

I'm reading this girls post and hearing a few things specific that really stand out...they are

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He ended up asking someone else out

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and

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it was now up to him if he still wanted to be friends

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Youre giving this guy way too much power. You need to set limits. Youve told him how you feel now say If you want to be with me...call me. Then leave...
I hate it when girls get so romance movie about things... you need to remember to hold onto your side. If the guy wanted to be with you, no matter how much you sugercoat it, he would have been with you. It really is that simple. Asking someone out is a big deal, for him to have gone and asked out another chick is....well you know... and now youve giving HIM the choice if you want to be together? No way! Be stronger than that!

Ok...thats true...I do deserve so much better respect then that. I will not keep bowing down...when i threathened to not be friends anymore. cuz i coudn't take it anymore....he was getting angry...and said he'd give me some space but would be very sad and dissappointed if we could never be friends again. Why does he keep fooling me?! I get so confused. EVERYONE else know him as a very nice guy who is very caring towards everyone and everyone loves him...all the girls and the guys too. So why is it that he treats me like this? I dont know who he really is if hes a jerk or maybe I'm the one who is just too proud?? ..So confused..