ungrateful girlfriend??!!

Recently my girlfriend and I have been having a few issues. Nothing major, just bickering all the time due to (the old expression springs to mind "women from Venus, men from Mars").
As it was coming up to her 50th birthday I thought I would do something extra special for her, especially as we were not getting on recently.
I decided to organise a big surprise party for her, at her son's place.
I spent approx 6 weeks contacting her family, friends, work colleagues, ex-work colleagues from all over UK.
I knew she wanted the latest iPad so I got one, which would be from her kids and myself.
On the day of the party we decorated the place with banners, balloons etc.
The party was a huge success. She had never suspected anything all these weeks. She was overwhelmed to see all her family and friends past and present, and genuinely touched that I'd gone to all this effort.
I did'nt think I'd done anything wrong, but a few days after the party she dropped me a bombshell!
She commented there were no drinks she liked at the party, which was not nice as her son went out earlier to get loads of drink, plus guests brought drinks with them.
She also commented I should have fetched her a drink when she asked for it!
When I told her how much work went into organising the party her comment was “anyone can organize a party”.
I bought her a temporary sleeve for the iPad to stop it getting scratched until I get a decent one for her. I explained this to her but she gave it back to me, saying she wanted a decent case.
There was also a mix-up with the iPad gift. Her daughter told her that the iPad should have been from the kids only, and I should have got a separate gift from myself. I was not aware of this, nor the 2 sons. The iPad was £400 so I naturally assumed it would be split 4 x £100 between the kids and myself.
As you can imagine, I was speechless and confused after she said all this. I told her to leave me alone for a while.
After I'd gathered my thoughts I wrote her a letter to explained how disgusted I was with her behaviour.
She contacted me a few days later to apologise, but I still could not get her to understand how wrong it is to complain about petty things when someone has made so much effort. Socially it is a complete no-no. I am still finding it hard to get over this. Her brother told me recently he thinks she has mild Aspergers, which could account for her lact of tact? Not sure.
Can anyone give me their thoughts on this? Am I overreacting? Is her behaviour justified? How would others have handled this situation?

As I was once reminded by a nun, who should know, no good deed goes unpunished.

Dump the ungrateful bitch.

How long do u know that woman?

and i think her daughter is also a stupid kid. cause she should have keep her mouth shut instead of making a point of
who brought the ipad and who not. that's not important.

Those people are trouble makers.mom and daughter !maybe gold-diggers 2.

Next year if u still with her i would do noting for her. I would just say happy birthday and move on with my daily stuff.
or even forget that its her birthday.

even thou u need to find closer cause she said sorry. but take your time to let it go.

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I wrote her a letter to explained how disgusted I was with her behaviour.

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Yes, it is disgusting behaviour. *I* was disgusted reading it. You went to a lot of trouble for her and you feel unappreciated for it. If the ipad gift was supposed to only be from the children, then *they* should have purchased it, not you. As for the kid's comment - the apple doesn't fall far from the tree (is this an adult child?? :P).

Its good she apologized, but do you feel she really understands why it was wrong of her? If not, you might want to rethink what you truly want from a partner. At 50, you don't want to be dealing with other people's issues like this. The asperger's thing is only an excuse. Even if its true, it won't get your emotional needs met. Speaking from long experience, aspies should really only be with other aspies. They are extremely difficult partners.

Hope this helps.

Revolver, is she just ungrateful to you.....or does she take this approach to her whole life? Perhaps nothing in any part of her life is good enough.

How would I have handled the situation? I would have ended things with her on the spot. A combination of this on top of all the recent bickering wuld demonstrate that we're simply not suited.

You two are grown adults past your middle age. She is acting like a stuck up bratty spoiled rotten child who's parents made a mistake and bought her the Barbie 5000 instead of the Barbie 5001 model. Geez. This is ridiculous. She ain't a kid so it just shows her need to control by making you feel bad to make herself feel better. Lose the bitch and get yourself someone mature for her age

Dump the bitch.

lol@ all the overseas posters being shocked at this. It's normal english behaviour. **** all to see here.