Need to call time on this.
Now i've always been extremely lucky with women and have never really had to try to get attention from women. I've been told numerous times by different women that i'm very attractive or theres something indescribable about me they like. I am however a virgin at 20 years old as i'm very picky, never really been places where there are girls i can get to know (like a workplace, classes, tutorials etc...), and want to lose my virginity to someone i actually know, as I don't like the idea of pulling someone in a club and embarrassing myself when i get her home.
Theres this girl i've liked for far too long now. I've been interested in her for almost 3 years now. Shes 21, virgin and never had a boyfriend in her life.
We used to be in school together but never really talked to each other and were in the same sort of group of friends, so we, and all my other friends stayed in contact with each other when we went off to uni.
After the christmas holidays (I think Jan' '11) we went clubbing and i think she took a shine to me for some reason. She tried to kiss me when i wasn't expecting and sort of shrugged her off by accident. Nothing really happened afterwards.
I started to notice her alot of after that, but couldn't really do anything as she lived at uni over 100 miles away. Whenever we got together with our little group of friends we'd always end up hanging out together and just talking to each other all night. I realized she was literally like a female version of me and i suddenly found her extremely attractive.
We ended up planning a whole summer doing festivals together. She invited me over her house a few times so i could teach her guitar but i think a lack of experience on both our sides meant that nothing escalated and i literally ended up just teaching her guitar for two hours before we both gave a somewhat awkward and anti-climactic goodbye to each other.
Things just died down for a while after that and i figured "plenty more fish in the sea blah blah blah" and just tried to forget about her, and found i was thinking about her less and less.
We still stayed in occasional contact because of our whole friend group thing where we'd all meet up when we were home from uni. She seemed really impressed and intrigued when i got a new job working at a cocktail bar (i would do all the flair and bar tricks, and make fancy cocktails at parties) and i think she found me alot more attractive as i lost weight and was generally fitter, due to my job. My feelings for her sort of rekindled and we were back to square one - we were texting back and forth most days but nothing could really happen as she lived 100 miles away normally. We'd occasionally spend days out together shopping - mostly initiated by me, and she rarely let me down (when she did, she had genuine excuses). She had also been stringing along a few other guys too but i don't know if shes doing it to make me jealous, or stringing me along to make these other guys jealous. I think she just likes the attention to be honest. Whenever we're around other people she'll talk about guys she knows i know about if im in earshot.
I texted her best friend telling her i really liked her and if she would find out if she was interested in me, but she just said that she thinks she sees me as a friend only, but she does talk to her friends about me alot saying that she "always has a good time" when shes with me. I sent her flowers for valentines day thinking that she'd get the message, and her response would answer my question. I didn't get any response from her so i text her asking if she got them and she just text me back saying they were "lovely and are on the kitchen table in a vase". I assumed she didn't feel anything for me so i just shut up shop and tried to forget her.
The next summer she won VIP tickets to a festival and wanted me to go with her. She also invited her female friend to join us as tbh, it would of been a bit crap just the two of us. She also wanted me to apply for a temporary job with her over the summer and i agreed, as it was ridiculously good money. We didn't talk much other than just to pass information to each other as i just couldn't be arsed with her romantically - i'd have more chance trying to date a brick wall.
I've purely coincidentally moved to a town 40-50 miles away from her (an hour on the train) to study music (something we both have great passion for) and have been focusing purely on getting a decent career and making contacts. I've done a fair bit of networking since i've moved here and have put a lot of irons in my fire. She seemed impressed when i was telling her what i was doing. We've met up a few times since ive come here - twice to parties she had at her house, once for a casual drink back home, and to go shopping together, but ending up staying and playing pool together before going to a party and spending the night on her sofa. She also asked me to a gig with her next week. I've tried talking to her via text and facebook but she's been completely ignoring me and its infuriating. She's fine and friendly with me one minute, and completely closes me off and ignores me the next and it does my head in. In the few times ive been to her place, i've gotten chatty with her housemate, who i share alot of interests with. Her housemate seems to like me and im tempted just to say **** it and ask her out instead.
Being around her is weird. Sometimes i think she thinks im like her gay best friend or something, other times i think she sees me as boyfriend material. Her father also died when she was younger - i asked her best friend about him and she said she rarely ever speaks about him. I don't want to sound crude but i think i must remind her of him or something or she must just feel that trusted in me that she does open up and talk alot to me about something that mustve of been a very upsetting part of her life. From what i've heard she didn't really talk to her father much as her parents split up, but she thinks like him and follows his way and attitude to life.
I'm generally very confident and find flirting and escalation easy with everyone except her. I just don't know what it is. To me, it feels like we both want each other equally, but don't want to risk escalating things and losing the other so we've just stagnated as "friends" but have both remained single in the hope something happens between us. I seriously need to just end this one way or another. I know i'm probably suffering from a bit of "oneitus" here, but next time we're out together im just going to kiss her and see whats what.
Whats your opinion on the whole thing? Do you think theres something there or am i just imagining everything?
Also, why hasn't anyone invented a mind-reading machine yet?
