I'm uncertain if he really wants me to be his girlfriend again?
I'm currently seeing someone... Except he doesn't want the title and I do. I'll go into more detail.
We were together for a while (a year). We split up because things got out of hand and because I was going through some emotional issues towards the end of it. I became passive aggressive which wasn't me and it made him angry and he became less affectionate and didn't seem to try. I decided that us breaking up was going to help us and if we had a little time apart things would become good. We were ofcourse really upset. We still kept hanging out for several months after that and I was stressed because I wanted to become boyfriend and girlfriend again. He said he wasn't sure what he wanted but he kept acting like a boyfriend, just out in public, he never wanted to hug, kiss or hold hands in public. I assumed he just was still hurt from everything. We talked about us almost everyday - which lead to him being annoyed because he just wanted to chill out. And eventually he didn't really seem to put any effort in (hardly ever wanted to see me etc) and said f*** this and just stopped seeing him and said we should just be friends completely. He seemed to have gotten cut at that but I just couldn't handle any more of the stress and thought that it was time to just let it go. I started hanging out with an aquaintance and we became close after my relationship with my ex. I think my acquaintance friend started to like me so I backed off a bit because i didn't want a relationship due to the previous one. If you're asking if we slept together, yes we did. Not a lot though. In the mean time, my ex was trying to text me the whole time, tried calling, tried to actually get into contact and hang out. I just talked to him bluntly because I was still hurt. Eventually he found out that I had slept with my acquaintance friend. He abused me verbally, saying all sorts of things. I accepted what he said but at the same time, we weren't together in the first place so I didn't feel that bad and he didn't seem to want to be with me anyway due to his lack of trying. That night we decided that we were going to start "seeing" each other again, and ever since, things have been awesome. He gets cut from time to time about the other person, I had to block that person out of my life but we've hardly had any arguments. He plays in a band so he's been away for a tiny bit and next year he'll be away quite frequently. When we started seeing each other though, we became so close and were hanging out most days of the week. It felt like we had only just met each other. However, he doesn't want the title "boyfriend and girlfriend" yet. He told me he doesn't like titles because he doesn't feel the need to have one. He doesn't like the idea of needing to have a title or... marriage etc ... which I get completely. I mean his close friends know etc but when I want to express my love for him, i have to suppress my feelings and second guess what I have to say. He told me that he feels that we're not ready yet and we still have a lot of things to sort out. All in all, we've technically been seeing each other for a year and a half now. We haven't had any fights and i have no idea why he doesn't want me to call him his boyfriend. For example, I have instagram and I wanted to put a photo of his presents he gave me and caption it with, "my boyfriend gave me these :)"
I asked him if it was alright to put that there but he got all awkward and said we haven't sorted out anything properly. Like I mean, he's fine with me putting up things of us cuddling in bed...... yet I can't say that. He isn't fake affectionate like omg i luv u bby marry me. he's more of a realist. Which I get. He doesn't upload photos of us or anything on facebook etc and I know it's silly to be like what is happening but having that there is nice every once in a while. we hold hands and kiss in public, like act like a real couple... yet there is no title. I'm not bad like I used to be. I let him talk to whoever, let him do whatever, let him hang with his mates, talk with his mates etc.
The things that I have come up with are :
- he really isn't thinking that we are ready because he doesn't want that title due to commitment.
- he really isn't thinking that we are ready and is making sure that we are 100% (because we used to be really bad when we broke up - we fought all the time and he does say this.)
- he is keeping his options open
- because he's in a band, he has to appear single to appeal to fans
- hes seeing someone on the side (not too sure about that one since we hang out a lot)
- he likes the attention of others (but he says that he's only wanting to see me etc)
I have no idea. If I could have anyones input, that would be great. Haha. PLEASE no trolls... I'm just trying to sort things out. :)
