Confused about her feelings

Hey all

I've had a couple of long posts here so I'll try to keep this one short. (Doesn't look like I succeded though, but I hope you'll take the time to read it anyway...)

Here's my problem including a (very) short resume of my previous posts: I fell in love with an older colleague (she's 29, I'm 22), found out she had a boyfriend (another collegue and friend of mine actually) but no one knew about them, then they stopped seeing each other and her and I were seeing each other more and more as good friends. We ended up sleeping together which was very awkward the next day, but we talked about it and agreed that we were only friends.

We've since been seing each other regularly, and talking and texting each other over the phone practically everyday. I've also met her son and we get along fine. We've also been at a lot of parties together, and because of practical reasons I always sleep over at her place.
A couple of times we've ended up having sex again, but the last time she suddenly said that she actually didn't wanted to. Ofcourse I stopped and asker her why. She said it was because we had agreed upon just being friends :( I told her that I'd like to be more than friends, but she didn't answer and we fell asleep cuddled up together... Since then we've been making out when comming home from parties but havent had sex as I don't want to push her.

Last week we had a couple of beers after work at another colleagues place and I found out that they actually see us as a couple: There was a joke about people from her family usually going for "younger meat", and it was obvious that they were referring to her and I. Neither of us sad anything to object, but just laughed at the joke.

Then this weekend she and some other colleagues we're at a party at a friend of theirs to which I wasn't invited. They had no way of getting home and it was about 30miles, so I told them that they could just call me and I'd drive them.
When I arrived to pick them up I was invited inside and had a beer. She had become very drunk and people where making a bit fun of her, but all in good meaning. I sat down and talked to a couple of other colleagues who I hadn't talked to for a while because I changed departments. They said that she had been that drunk almost the whole evening, and had been talking about me the whole time... They also said she lit up like a child at christmas when I entered the room :)

When we was getting into the car, one of our collegues also told her that she should hang onto me because I was so patient with her even though she was this drunk...
She fell asleep pretty quick on our way home though, so nothing happened that night. I still slept over at her place, though and I cuddled her a bit the next day, but she had quite a hangover so that's about it...

How should I interpret her different signs? I can't figure it out anymore...

I would just be honest with her. It's kinda obvious you both want to be more than just friends, be honest with her and tell her you want to take it to the next level. See what she says. You said the one time you told her that you 2 fell asleep shortly after so it's possible she forgot / wasn't paying attention being so tired.

I would just see what happens when you say you want to be more than friends, if she feeds you any BS then move on and stop giving her all the benefits of a relationship without any committment.

Best of luck and let us know how it goes.

Yeah I guess it's kinda obvious that we're both interested in taking it further... But then again, when we hang out watching a movie together or something we both act as only friends. Don't get me wrong, we have a great time together but we're nothing but friends then (even though inside I'd love for us to sit cuddled up together)...
It's only when we've been at a party and have had some beers that we start to make out, but it's almost certain that we end up that way everytime...

You say that I should tell her how I feel, and I really want to, but I guess I'm afraid of her reaction and scared of loosing her as a friend, and I really don't want that to happen...
I tried asking her if we were only making out because we had something to drink one time, and her answer was a hesitant: "I don't really know"... But then again she gets really intimate when we've had some drinks, so I guess I'm just REALLY confused about how she feels and even though I'd love to be more than friends I'm afraid of losing her as a friend :(

maybe it's just when you have beer?

That's what I'm afraid of...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by artyemi

maybe it's just when you have beer?

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Lets say she wants and likes you when ONLY she is drunk, would you still love her with knowing that?
id say, talk to her!

Hang out with her more then in more sober settings. Ask her out to movies, dinner, etc and see if the sparks start to fly. Keep us updated!

We already hang out a good deal in sober settings: I've been by her place a couple of times, while she has had her son, just talking about random stuff and playing with her son having a great time doing so...
We also watch a lot of movies together at her place and I almost always spend the night afterwards, but still only as friends.
I've previously asked her out and made it pretty obvious that I liked her a lot and was interested in a relationship, but that was when she had a boyfriend that no one knew about (my colleague). She told me then that she already had a boyfriend and I learned to accept that there would be nothing between us. But after they split up we've been spending quite a lot of time together as I've already written in this thread (and more detailed in other threads), but I can't seem to find out what she really wants :(

Just yesterday I sent her a txt that she misunderstood and thought that I had been hurt, and she told me that she had become all weird when reading it.
What does that tell me? That she cares a lot for me obvious. But only as friends or is there more?

What did the text message say and what did she think it said?

She's interested it's obvious, but it might be too soon that she's not quite ready to go to the next step? How long has she been single?

Foolinlove---She's attracted to you. She can't help herself. However, there's a seven year gap. She's 29, you're 22.

There's also another glitch. She has a son. Her priority is her son. She probably (guessing here) puts him above everything else. She thinking like a 29yr old woman would. "How to provide for my son?"

Where would you fit in the equation?

The message I sent her was a reply to one she sent me about having an angel who hits people with her love and friendship, and she had told it to beat the shit out of me, so I replied that now I'd get a lot of bruises... She didn't think of the message she had just sent me, when she saw mine, so she thought I had had an accident working on my car or something...

And yeah, ofcourse her son is her number one priority, and I've also told her a couple of times that she should never put anything above him nomatter what!
She has been divorced for about two years, if I recall correctly, and she had a relationship with my colleague (that was very inofficial though) for about a year that ended just before new years, so she's been single for about 5 months now...

We started seeing each other as friends about 3 or 4 months before that last relationship ended, and I think I made it pretty obvious back then that I was interested (didn't know about my colleague then)... She then told me she had a boyfriend and we saw a lot less of each other for about a month, it was then about 2 weeks after it had been ended, and she invited me to some parties at her place where she told me about him. He has never told me anything about it, even though he knows I'm seeing her (as friends), and she told me he was VERY jelaous back then when he found out we were friends...

I hope I'll be able to "fit in her equation" since we've been spending more and more time together lately and I've been getting along great with her son too. But she's leaving for a weeks holiday tommorrow so I'll have to wait until she's back again :(

Foolinlove----"You say that I should tell her how I feel, and I really want to, but I guess I'm afraid of her reaction and scared of loosing her as a friend, and I really don't want that to happen..."

If you want to keep pursuing this, just keep it on a friends level for now. Don't ask her, don't push her. She must know you're interested. So really, it's up to her to decide.

Good luck.