I threw up in front of him and he broke up with me.
I was seeing this amazing guy for 3 months. We were incredibly happy, really close and excited about our future together.
We met online, and while he hasn't logged into his profile since the day of our first date, I had been logging in quite regularly due to my own insecurities (which I didn't share). In a previous relationship, I felt I took my profile down too soon, so this time I was waiting for him to make a commitment before I removed it. We had had conversations about this before, and I had told him that if he was uncomfortable I would take it down, but he insisted he wasn't. We also had an awkward period where we didn't speak much for around a week and he later told me he was 'cooling off' because he was afraid he was more deeply attached to me than I to him. We also had a drunken conversation shortly after where he told me he was terrified I would leave him for another guy.
Anyway, last week it was my work Xmas party and a senior colleague who has been trying it on with me recently had called me for no apparent reason the same day. I was worried I would be vulnerable because we would be drinking later on and he has cornered me in the past, so I mentioned this to my guy.
Anyway, later on I had a bit too much champagne in a very short time and ended up getting a cab back to his house. When I got there, I threw up - a LOT. All over myself, my dress etc. He obviously saw, but took me inside, put me in the shower, dressed me in his clothes and put me to bed with a bucket and a glass of water... He then cuddled me all night even though I had puke in my hair etc, and we slept together.
After that, he was really off with me - he wasn't replying to my texts and cancelled plans we had made for Sunday night. He then asked me to meet up on Monday, when he told me that seeing me throw up had made him reconsider the relationship because he wasn't as attracted to me anymore, he thought I had gotten too comfortable and he felt that we had transitioned into being a couple too quickly instead of taking time to date more. He asked to take a 'step back' from the relationship, but I pushed him to explain what he meant and he said he was confused and didn't know what he wanted but that he 'wasn't feeling it right now.' He also cited me keeping my dating profile online and liking attention from other guys as reasons - he said I shouldn't need attention from other people when I had him.
I'm still in complete shock and can't quite believe that this has happened - it literally ended so quickly and we were very much part of each other's lives - we talked every single day until we fell asleep and I really miss him. At this point I'm not sure what to do. Part of me thinks I should go NC and see if he comes back, but another part wants to explain my insecurities to him and see if we can make it work from there. We were so good together, and it seems a big shame to waste it.
Thoughts?
