I just saw my ex boyfriend after 12 years...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My ex and I where High School sweethearts for 6 years. We broke up on a bad note and never got closure. He went on too get married and so did I a few years later. Now he is divorced, I have heard from mutual friends that he is going through some rough times, and I want him too know that If he needs a friend I will be there for him. I feel bad for what he is going through. It took me a long time to get over him, especially since we never had closure. Do not get me wrong, I love my husband very much( I have been married 10 years and have two kids.) but they are not the same deep feelings I had for my first Love. But I have been having some weird dreams and feelings about my ex, ever since I saw him a few weeks back. I would like to talk to him and extend my friendship to him or at least have a talk with him so we could find that closure we never had. I have his number because i got it off our mutual friend'd cell phone. But I feel bad calling him, because he did not give it to me, nor would I want him to think i am after him again. He seemed pleasant enough when we exchanged hello's. I cannot stop thinking about contacting him, should I or shouldn't I? I do not want to hurt my marriage, but I feel that if I dont talk to my ex about stuff that was never resolved in the past ( bad feelings) I will go nuts, thinking about it all day long.

BTW It is his B-Day this Friday May27th. Can I at least call him to wish him a Happy Birthday? Will that be wrong of me too do ??

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jillybean

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My ex and I where High School sweethearts for 6 years. We broke up on a bad note and never got closure. He went on too get married and so did I a few years later. Now he is divorced, I have heard from mutual friends that he is going through some rough times, and I want him too know that If he needs a friend I will be there for him. I feel bad for what he is going through. It took me a long time to get over him, especially since we never had closure. Do not get me wrong, I love my husband very much( I have been married 10 years and have two kids.) but they are not the same deep feelings I had for my first Love. But I have been having some weird dreams and feelings about my ex, ever since I saw him a few weeks back. I would like to talk to him and extend my friendship to him or at least have a talk with him so we could find that closure we never had. I have his number because i got it off our mutual friend'd cell phone. But I feel bad calling him, because he did not give it to me, nor would I want him to think i am after him again. He seemed pleasant enough when we exchanged hello's. I cannot stop thinking about contacting him, should I or shouldn't I? I do not want to hurt my marriage, but I feel that if I dont talk to my ex about stuff that was never resolved in the past ( bad feelings) I will go nuts, thinking about it all day long.

BTW It is his B-Day this Friday May27th. Can I at least call him to wish him a Happy Birthday? Will that be wrong of me too do ??

---

haha, who are you trying to kid? Us or yourself? When asking if it is wrong to do, try asking yourself "would my husband approve?" or "would his wife appreciate that I need closure?" or "how will this hurt my kids?"

If the guy really wanted you to call him, maybe he would have given you his number and said something novel, like "Hey! Why don't you call me sometime?"

As Thomas Wolfe would say, you can't go home again...

hey I dont want to be harsh.. but hell u have 2 kids and husband.. think bout them first.. I can agree with ur feelings, the fact that there wasnt any closure hurts.. but thats the past.. Are u willing to sacrifice rather ruin ur current relationship, family by opening the old wounds.. See no matter how much u say u would just ask for closure, things can go wrong very easily... Dont do this... just bear the pain and let it go...It has to GO

Ya you really need to forget about all those past feelings you had with this dude. Number one, you have a family and you can only imagine what would happen if you started seeing him again. You would have an affair.
You know what would most likely happen in the event of that affair? Let me tell you...
You would hurt your husband and scar your children for life, not only that but he has probably changed so much in the past that even if you did get together with him you would probably not get along.
So then, you would be stuck with no family, no place to go, you would have to start over.
I've always belived that when it comes to that kind of situation, dont put yourself in the position to be able to do it. You need to delete his number off your cell (he didnt give it to you!) and you need to forget you even ran into him.

sometimes u think the grass is greener on the other side and its not. Evaluate your marriage see what you feel is missing for you and speak to your husband, I know that in day to day life and as time passes we get caught up between the kids wrk cooking cleaning just plain out and simple family life. sometimes oour love ones may ferget to show some apprectiation aknowlegemet acceptance, but in times like these u have to really look at all that you do have, sit and talk and definatley not going into someone elses arms, that only solves things temporarily. Your exes are your exes for a reason. Just think.

i will not bash on this thread.

*walks away*

raverboy