help me to make myself to understand

hello everyone

i've been feeling not so great and normal towards things.
how do i not care and react so much when it comes to my my friend (we're both attracted) saying insulting things?
i'm no better by talking back at her.
we are on and off, let me ask you guys this
how do u get into a relationship with a another girl if you're a girl?
it's not easy telling them things.
and with this friend..
i've always known she never wanted to go with me
im not mad at her
i used to be more disappointed
im starting to think, the bunch of hurtful things we say to each other isnt that worth the pain(getting upset bout)
im tired i guess.
trying to make things work when i know its not
when i was dancing last night, just a little change of perspective when it comes to other females.
not everyone is same, and different.
i felt very happy last night, seeing so many people and getting off compliments from strangers...
thats the happy im looking for. im addicted to those dancing places.
not only that the best time of my life with my friends.
i don't always seek for relationship now days, just enjoyment.
so how does a female get into a relationship with another?