Is my boyfriend settling for me?
Hi guys. I'm 25, my boyfriend is 27 and we've been together about 4 years now. To cut a long story short, we've travelled a bit of a rocky road. Although I'm sure we've always basically loved each other, he was a bit of a shoddy/unreliable partner at times. I was disappointed to learn that up until a couple of years ago he'd been going on regular nights out with his friends (and their partners), and had been lying to me about being busy with other things. (I only know because one of his friend's partners let slip by accident.) He had no reason to do this, I never did anything to suggest I'd discourage him from nights out or socialising with friends - indeed I always did this plenty myself - openly! I'm fairly sure he cheated on me a couple of years ago, since he went quiet on me for two weeks following a night out, and I discovered in this time he'd had an STD test. He's always maintained that he was simply struggling with doubts about my fidelity - needless to say I was about his for some time following this. For years he would disclude me from important family events, such as his sister's baby's homecoming, where everybody else including all of his sibling's partners would be there. I love my boyfriend and have always considered him my equal in every way, though it's fair to say most people comment that we're a little mis-matched, even his mother. We go to a comedy night locally and we've been picked on a few times with comments about how he's "batting out of his league". Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to suggest he should be grateful for my affection, but it feels like he's never been proud to be seen with me at all. He was never eager to spend much time with me, favouring nights out, and I was excluded from his social life. When we hit the three year mark and there were no signs of him pursuing a further commitment, knowing I was ready for something more serious, I broke things off with a heavy heart. He came back around within a few weeks and begged for me to come back, stating that he felt he was ready to move in with me when I graduated. This was nearly a year ago and things have been great since - I feel much more 'connected' to him, he seems a lot more open with me. Spending time with his nephew seems to have softened him and he's even mentioned having kids on occasion. He seems much less interested in nights out and much more interested in spending time with me - though I note that he seems to have opted out of his social life rather than include me in it to any degree. I graduate at the end of the month, and I've been happily house hunting with him - that said, I just can't shake this gnawing doubt. Did he "grow up", or is he just settling for me?
