Not sure why it bothers me ...

My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year, we have a 4 month old baby together and we get along amazing (most days) but I have a small problem with something.. I have caught her in lies concerning her ex. For the longest time she claimed they didn't talk, and then I began checking her texts from time to time (which I know now I shouldn't have) and she frequently talks to him (atleast every day) so I confronted her which came to a huge argument. I let it go and told her I didn't care (when I really do) and carried on. I just asked that she not see him because that would make me very uncomfortable. She claims that they were good friends long before they dated, and they dated for over a year and broke up and now are friends again. So I let it go for some time and then curiosity hit me and I checked again only to find that she went to his house WITH our 3 month old at the time. She claimed she went there only because she was with a friend who needed to stop to get clothes (her boyfriend lives with him). I was still extremely uncomfortable and felt as though she probably knew all along. She constantly still hides it from me, even though I asked her not to. I work all day, I leave at 8am and don't get home until after 7pm and it makes me uneasy not knowing what she is doing all day, or if he's ever been to my house. I want to trust her, because I love her more than anything but I don't know what to do. I try not to think about it but it never leaves my mind. If I ever bring it up, she gets EXTREMELY defensive and it always starts a fight. I told her I'd never be controlling so long as we had trust but I feel with her constantly hiding things from me that its slipping away. I just want her to be upfront with me and tell me why he's so important in her life that they need to text all day long every single day. We only spend about 3-4 hours together a night and I find she has her cell stuck in her face for atleast half of it in which I'm 100% sure she's talking to him and ignoring me. I want nothing more than a trustful, loyal relationship with this girl of whom I someday picture myself marrying. Can someone just give me some advice on how to block the thoughts or something, maybe help my uneasy mind and put this all behind me!

Also, the reason I checked her phone in the first place is because of MY ex. I got a hint from a friend at the time that she was seeing her ex, so I checked her phone one day only to find she had been cheating on me all along. My ex told me she saw him once a month to give him money for a shared cell contract they had which was true but she left a LOT of things out... I have never been the same since and I feel like its really affecting me now. I just want to stop thinking about it! Advice, PLEASE!

Congratulations on f.ucking up your life. Not only do you have a girlfriend who lies but you're unable/unwilling to deal with this AND now you have a child together. Good going ace. My advice. Confront her, don't back down and if necessary dump her. You want nothing more than a trustful loyal relationship with this girl? I want a Ferrari for Xmas. Both are extremely unlikely to happen.

I hate to say it, but chances are she didn't go over there just once and it wasn't just saying hi. When people text or communicate all day long with the opposite sex, feelings will develop. Especially that you are gone all day long, she might feel that it's justified. Unless you can live with this, I would dump her and figure out what you want to do with the kid.

She's not cheating on me. I know that. She just wants to be friends with him, she feels trapped being at home all day with our baby and has no one to talk to. I just can't help but feel uneasy about the entire situation. She's the type that would leave me before she cheated on me. You are right Boisdevie I do want nothing more than a trustful and loyal relationship and I think it is something that needs work. I never once suspected her to be cheating, I just have an eerie past that I can't let go of. She has had some serious issues in her past as well, being cheated on also. We relate extremely well when it comes to that. I have no intentions on leaving her whatsoever, I just seek optimism towards what positive situations can come from this. People CAN be friends with the opposite sex, and not have sexual relations or feelings, and I AM giving her the benefit of the doubt. One of her longer relationships with a different ex never allowed her to even talk to other guys, so that dawns on her constantly. Thanks for the , somewhat useless advice, I appreciate the reply nonetheless

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Originally Posted by comet9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She's not cheating on me. I know that. She just wants to be friends with him,

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ROFL... sure, buddy. Keep telling yourself that.

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Originally Posted by comet9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She's not cheating on me. I know that. She just wants to be friends with him, she feels trapped being at home all day with our baby and has no one to talk to. I just can't help but feel uneasy about the entire situation. She's the type that would leave me before she cheated on me. You are right Boisdevie I do want nothing more than a trustful and loyal relationship and I think it is something that needs work. I never once suspected her to be cheating, I just have an eerie past that I can't let go of. She has had some serious issues in her past as well, being cheated on also. We relate extremely well when it comes to that. I have no intentions on leaving her whatsoever, I just seek optimism towards what positive situations can come from this. People CAN be friends with the opposite sex, and not have sexual relations or feelings, and I AM giving her the benefit of the doubt. One of her longer relationships with a different ex never allowed her to even talk to other guys, so that dawns on her constantly. Thanks for the , somewhat useless advice, I appreciate the reply nonetheless

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If you say so. U asked for advice and u got it. Lololol. Just cause ur not getting necessarily what you want doesnt mean its not good advice. As a woman, I can tell your a pushover. If you feel that way then why seek advice on what you already know?

Not gonna judge. You are in a horrible situation. There should be no contact with EXs unless there is a child involved with the Ex. Friends with Ex is completely bullcrap. Now your child will be affected because you and your GF are not committed enough to each other. You two have a child together, so to some extent you and GF are bonded for the next 18 years. You either work it out, or break it off. For the child's sake, why not just go to city hall and get married? It takes literally 30 minutes. If either of you refuses, then you really don't have that kind of committment in this relationship.