Help... Good honest advice needed.

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13-02-13, 09:29 PM
Ybbuc2112

Help... Good honest advice needed.

Hey everyone,

I'll start from the beginning.

Last September I had a one night thing with a colleague after a friends wedding. She was in relationship that was coming to an end or I think it was. Afterwards I never contacted her because I didn't no if she wanted that and just thought that she might of wanted a one night thing.

But a week later she got in touch via FB just to ask really random questions, I let these conversations die out eventually cos I never knew her status in current relationship and I suppose I didn't have the balls to ask. Then randomly a few weeks later she got my number from a friend an the texting began. I asked all the questions

Then on another works party near Xmas I picked her up an we travelled there together, spent most of the night with each other. Then she said are you going to ask me out on a date? To which I replied, yeah you wanna go out sometime. We kissed briefly that night then went for a drink the following Monday. ( our day off ). An it all sort of blossomed from there an we both agreed we didn't want everyone at work knowing what was happening. But that's were I am stuck because she is a very quiet about things and I'm not sure she's told any of her family or friends about us, because she going speed dating on Friday apparently. Were as she's met all of mine. An she can seem really distant sometimes like she's hiding something. I see her most weekends an sometimes in the week an we both would like to see more of each other. But I dunno were we are... Boyfriend girlfriend or more casual?
And I'm not sure whether she's using me as some sort of springboard or not?

I guess what I wanna ask is am I being used or am I reading into things a bit much and this is how a grown up relationship can happen?

( She didn't want to rush things so not jinx or ruin what we had even though she thinks she's fallen for me )

Thanks
14-02-13, 12:27 AM
EEDEE

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ybbuc2112 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hey everyone,

I'll start from the beginning.

Last September I had a one night thing with a colleague after a friends wedding. She was in relationship that was coming to an end or I think it was. Afterwards I never contacted her because I didn't no if she wanted that and just thought that she might of wanted a one night thing.

But a week later she got in touch via FB just to ask really random questions, I let these conversations die out eventually cos I never knew her status in current relationship and I suppose I didn't have the balls to ask. Then randomly a few weeks later she got my number from a friend an the texting began. I asked all the questions

Then on another works party near Xmas I picked her up an we travelled there together, spent most of the night with each other. Then she said are you going to ask me out on a date? To which I replied, yeah you wanna go out sometime. We kissed briefly that night then went for a drink the following Monday. ( our day off ). An it all sort of blossomed from there an we both agreed we didn't want everyone at work knowing what was happening. But that's were I am stuck because she is a very quiet about things and I'm not sure she's told any of her family or friends about us, because she going speed dating on Friday apparently. Were as she's met all of mine. An she can seem really distant sometimes like she's hiding something. I see her most weekends an sometimes in the week an we both would like to see more of each other. But I dunno were we are... Boyfriend girlfriend or more casual?
And I'm not sure whether she's using me as some sort of springboard or not?

I guess what I wanna ask is am I being used or am I reading into things a bit much and this is how a grown up relationship can happen?

( She didn't want to rush things so not jinx or ruin what we had even though she thinks she's fallen for me )

Thanks

Can't you just go with the flow and see what happens? Can you make plans to see her Friday so she doesn't go SD? It may just be that she wants to keep things quiet at work. No harm in that.
14-02-13, 01:13 AM
smackie9

Good lord we can't answer that, grow a set and ask her yourself.
14-02-13, 01:16 AM
smackie9

Tip: communication is the key ingredient for a sucessful relationship.
14-02-13, 04:23 AM
Rowen

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ybbuc2112 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

( She didn't want to rush things so not jinx or ruin what we had even though she thinks she's fallen for me )

Okay, I'm going to give you my extra-secret-valuable advice I've learned from talking to a lot of people in the dating world... RUN! You may like her, but too many people rush into things in this day and age. If she went out with you only a few times and is saying she thinks she's falling for you, you may be at risk for a common dating disease known as infatuation. In this case, I hate to break it to you, but she may very well be. It sounds like she doesn't really know what she wants, especially if she's going speed dating after having gone on dates with you. I'd drop her. In my experience, if someone acts like that and says something of that nature to me, they're either a liar, cheater, confused, dramatic, or some combination of the four. I only tell you this because, at least in my experience, it never works. However, let's look at smackie's advice for a moment:

Quote:

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Tip: communication is the key ingredient for a successful relationship.

^ Well put. You can talk to her, which might be wise so you could get closure on all of this should it all end badly. However, at the same time... It sounds like you've already tried talking to her, based on the part of your post I commented on.

It's up to you, but life is too damn short for games. I'm sorry to be blunt, but you need to be careful.
14-02-13, 07:05 AM
michelle23

I wouldnt want a relationship with someone who cheated on an ex and ypu should not have slept with her when u knew she was in a relationship.

If you do want something serious though-grow a pair and ask her to be exclusive
14-02-13, 08:49 AM
chammie

Quote:

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Tip: communication is the key ingredient for a sucessful relationship.

yeah..true enough.. That is why I am so OPEN to my partner... that I don't make him think of what's in my mind... >.< well, I guess that's not healthy on the other side ... but really helps
14-02-13, 09:00 AM
JoeyJR

are you even sexin this chick? if you are keep her on the side just for some smashing. after all you have said that is my best advice.

if you havent even gotten sexual with her then yeah ''YOU ARE DONE!!! it seems like this is the only chick you are seeing, talk to more chicks, she is speed dating and wat the hell are you doing? yeah probably nothing.. its that simple
14-02-13, 09:02 AM
Wakeup

Quote:

because she going speed dating on Friday

Dude.. she's exercising her options. You're not exclusive so she can (and appartently is) seeing other men. Ask her to be exclusive (although being exclusive means fk all to her if she cheated on a boyfriend to hook up with you) and if she doesn't want to, then you go speed dating to and YOU exercise your options as well. Keep your heart OFF your sleeve with this one until you know where you stand with her. She's shady.