Too Late for Second Chances?
I met my ex boyfriend on Match.com almost 6 years ago and we hit it off. We fell for each other, then he pulled away so I met someone else with no drama. He became jeolous and convinced me to break it off with Mr. Nice Guy. We ended up moving in together. Things slowly turned sour with my ex due to the fact that he didn�t take care of my sexual needs first. He was also nagging me about things he had no experience with. At age 51, I was the first woman he had ever lived with. I slowly grew tired of his immaturity, so I asked him to move out. This is important to note: We left on good terms. We have been each other�s best friend during all this time. We talk/text almost every day and we do everything for each other and he has always been my number 1 supporter during times of need. He still loved me and promised to change, begging me for another chance. The problem was, I didn�t have romantic feelings for him. I knew he was the right guy for me, but my heartstrings weren�t tugging anymore. Unconsciously, I thought there was someone else better out there for me. For 3 years, he stuck it out with me, knowing how I felt. He loved me unconditionally.
Fast forwarding a couple of years later, he met someone 6 months ago, but he wasn�t really into her. I started crying and all of a sudden, I felt like I was going to �lose� him. We happily rekindled our relationship until my heartstrings stopped and I hurt him again. NOW, here�s the kicker. He met someone about 6 weeks ago �accidentally� he said. He wasn�t actively looking. He said that for 3 years he was pursuing me, even though he didn�t think he had a chance. He even proposed to me! He likes her, but he�s not in love. After only 3 weeks, she asked him to be exclusive and he agreed. She invited him to meet her parents and he did. He said he�s not going to stop dating her because he�s 51, I kept pushing him away, and he doesn�t know if he�ll get another chance to meet someone he likes. I made the mistake of crying my eyes out a few times, declaring my love for him. We both cried and he said he hoped to hear those words 1 month ago. He said that I�m a hard person to get over since I�m so nice, but his feelings are not as strong as they once were.
I lost 18 pounds in 1 month, can�t stop thinking about him, and had to start taking Xanax in order to function. I was never a pill-taker. I�m a nervous wreck. Suggestions from other relationship sites said I should block his number and exercise the "No Contact" rule. He texted me at 5am the next morning telling me that he knows he�s not supposed to contact me, but he couldn�t sleep the night before. He slept with my graduation picture next to him. We ended up spending the day together.
Now that I finally admitted to loving him, the sex is explosive! He is just about to move into his own apartment for the first time. Both this woman and I found the same apt on Craigslist for him. It�s only 2 minutes from her house. He still wants me to come over and cook for him, among other things, just like I've always done. He went from �I have to be good� since I�m dating someone�. to wanting to have sex with me without feeling guilty anymore. I�ve tried the �No Contact� rule, but he doesn�t want that. He said that not seeing or talking to me is killing him. So, in the meantime, I�ve just been waiting longer to respond to his texts (to make him intrigued). And when I do this, he automatically thinks I'm with another guy. On the one hand, he doesn't want to give up this woman who he only sees once or twice a week; however, he's spending more time with me and said I'm hard to get over, yet, he always says he doesn't know what's going to happen since he doesn't know her that well.
I don't want to play games or be mean-spirited, but I need to know where I stand. His actions don't match his words. Should I continue to be close friends as we have always been? Does this relationship deserve a second chance since we've come full circle before?
