Got a couple of "love" stories at [url]http://niteflights.cx.la[/url]. They're both a little twisted, but love's in the eyes of the beholder, I guess. :)
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Got a couple of "love" stories at [url]http://niteflights.cx.la[/url]. They're both a little twisted, but love's in the eyes of the beholder, I guess. :)
Thanks W. Could only read "Timing"; good story. Hard to say much more... not twisted tho, will say that. Still digesting and couldn't bring myself to start the other. Gave me a headache actually, which is interesting if you know a little about psychology. You got some talent there at evoking emotional response, keep up the good work!Quote:
Originally Posted by whaywardj
Wow. Thx for the compliment for taking the time, Indi. I'm flattered. Yeah, there's a few things goin' on in "Trade" that are very deliberate, and might cause a headache or your head to swim, psycho-dynamics nothwithstanding. Especially in the opening paragraphs. The key to getting through them easily is to read each clause one at a time and not try scan the entire sentence all at once for meaning. (Kinda like working out life problems, huh? Which is what I meant for the style of those paras to reflect.) Might have to back off that artifice in later drafts. Doesn't seem to go over very well with readers who just want the story without the expressive gymnastics and metaphor.
Quote:
Originally Posted by whaywardj
Hi W. No, no. Was "Timing" gave me the headache. All my comments are related to that story. Haven't read "Trade" yet b/c found "Timing" so disturbing. Not a neg comment BTW; I think things that make one think are good. No problem RE: taking the time. I know that it can be difficult to get useful feedback. Also my way of saying "thanks" for all your helpful insight.
There was lots that spoke to me in your story, but I thought you'd want to know about the violent metaphors in "Timing". That is what most ppl will react to most strongly, I think. I wanted to let you know that I understood (which is my take on what you are trying to communicate) that the form of the violence is highly dependent on the individual. Tho I only got it after the fact. I don't want to mention specifics so I don't spoil it for anyone else. But I did get your point that for some, the shock need be physical, for others psychological or (perhaps) intellectual... whatever takes them to that edge.
Anyway, VERY interesting story. Expect to get some violent responses to it, tho. It will scare a lot of ppl, I think.
Interesting thing to me about "Timing" was that it is a virtual lift from her journals. Before she departed SF for NY, she copied and gave a few pages to me by way of a good-bye letter. All I did was embellish things a little and re-arrange sequences of events. BTW: At the time, she was 22 and I was 45.
Maybe it's just me, but I am a little disturbed by the sex and violence thing...
Not exactly Victorian, is it? (I've only read "Timing".) I'll give it some more thought.
So was I. So was she when she leaned close enough to it to see it.
Hey W. B/c you were so frank w/me... just wanted to leave you something to think about b/f I disengage here. You seem self-aware enough to understand you had to let her go b/c you then risked a "hostage-dependency"-like transferral on you (which happens when exposed to strong emotions). Also possible to get stuck into a "god mode" w/your story, as I'm sure you're also aware. So, question for you (don't expect an answer BTW), but, who shaves the barber... hmm...? Just food for thought.Quote:
Originally Posted by whaywardj
Never said I didn't also enjoy checking my own leanings.