A sympathy date? Is she lying?
Hi, I'm a 31 year old guy who is new to the forum. Now on to my current problem that I seek advice on.
I met a girl online a week ago. Then we got into having these one hour conversations on the phone with a lot of personal information. Not only that but we exchanged long emails. I sort of broke my own rules which were: not to talk too long on the phone nor get into super detailed emails.
We ended up meeting on our first date tonight. She loves to talk, talk, and talk. We set up a first date and I offered to come over by a local public transit bus (since I don't have a car). She told me that she'd drive out to pick me up. Then she called and asked if I could go back to the original plan of coming out to meet her by a local bus. I said that was no problem. She recently hurt her back as an occupational therapist a week ago, meaning that, supposedly, her prescribed pain medication might cause her to get charged with a DUI and that she couldn't afford that since she had a few of those in the past.
During this date, she sat close, we kissed, and as things started getting a little heavier, she said, "I haven't had sex in 7 years and I'm not going to have sex on a first date." I said that was alright but asked if she was attracted to me. She said yes. She CLAIMS that she was so into raising her kids that she decided to put off dating for years. Even though that sounds unbelievable, I decided to give the benefit of the doubt.
I screwed up by admitting on this date to her that I "fell for her." She said, "thanks," but didn't say anything similar in return. I have never been dumb enough to admit that I felt strongly about to a new girl on a first date. Don't forget forum people, her and I exchanged a lot of emails and had lots of minutes on the phone, but still, it premature and desperate on my part to admit this. She talked for the last 4 hours selfishly, IMO, about her current issues asking whether she should change jobs, how to handle her dying mother, whether this possible job opportunity that's 2 hours out of the area was something that she should consider.without asking me about my life. At the end, after hours of phone and email exchanges, I felt like a I was being used as a dickless theapist.
Then she asks me to see her on Monday even though she is interviewing for that job that is 2 hours away. Here's a red flag: if she couldn't make a 20 minute drive to meet up with me because she is prescibed meds for her back, then how is she SUPPOSEDLY able to handle 4 hours of driving this Monday?
Should I just cancel the date and say that I'd rather see her another day when she isn't exhausted from jetlag, so to speak, from her 4 hours of driving on that day that she proposed? I feel like her offering a date on Monday was sympathy date just because I said that "I fell for her." Does her, "I've gone 7 years without sex," line sound like a bunch of bull to politely excuse herself from being intimate with me? Or should I just give her the benefit of the doubt? I have years of dating experience, and I don't normally fall for people like I did her. What do you forum readers think is going on? Am I being too suspicious?
