dazed & confused...comments please
Okay, first of all, i'd just like to say that i am completely in love with my gf. you might find this a very powerful statement for me, seeing as how i'm only 16 (gf is 17), and that we have only been dating for 8 months, but i know it's true. it's like that song by the police, "every little thing she does is magic..." there's nothing about her that i don't love. the way she acts and her body language when she's around me is one that expresses love back. kisses arn't just a release of sexual tension, as some of my other kisses have been-they're so much more. i feel so comfortable and happy when i'm with her, like there's nothing that can come between us. she pleases me emotionally, spirtually, and physically(no sex for religious purposes...just kissing and making out, which is a mutual agreement).
However, back in january, i found a post on a myspace from her on a guy's she used to like a lot. however, she liked/kissed him before she met me, then he went to college, her and i met, and we've been dating sense. but the post was like a questionaire, and all of her answers seemed to show a desire to be with him, that only distance was seperating them (we live in CA, he used to-goes to college in virginia). i was very hurt and upset, and confronted her about it. she appoligized immensly, said she regretted posting it the day after she did, before i had even seen it. it took a while for me to get over it, but i still feel threatened by this phantom guy, who i've never met.
Since the incident, we've had zero problems relating to this, but i have still been worried. we spend a lot of time together (some would say too much), and lately she says she wants to get back to seeing her friends. she assured me that i hadn't done anything wrong, it wasn't because she didn't want to spend time with me, just that she missed her friends. so i agreed, and almost felt good about it. tonight was a night she was supposed to be with her friends.
She called me when she got home tonight, and told me that their plans had been slightly skewed. they usually get together to have bonfires on the beach, but they said it was too crowded. to further the situation, the only people in the group were my gf, her ex, two of her best friends(both guys, one of which i suspect of liking her as well), and another guy who she didn't know. so instead of going to the beach, they chilled at her ex's house. she assured me over and over, that nothing happened, that i shouldn't be scared cus she loves me and so on. she felt bad because she didn't know the situation was going to be that way, but there was nothing she could do (she can't drive, so she couldn't leave).
I'm scared-that's basically what it comes down to. i feel that i can't compete with her other guy friends (which are all older than her, but i'm younger than her), that she has every reason to leave me to be with a bigger, better-looking, older, and more suave guy. she keeps telling me that i'm what she wants, that if she wanted those guys, that she wouldn't have gotten involved with me. i try hard to surprise her and be romantic to make up for what i lack (i am only an inch taller than her and i'm bad looking but not gorgeous either), and the way i treat her she seems to love.
Now on to my problem-why is it i'm scared? should i be? should i feel threatened? how should i handle these feelings of insecurity? she comments over and over that she wants to be with me forever, that those other guys don't treat her the way i do, that she'd have no reason to leave me. what should i do????
