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When she gets stressed out she is in a very bad mood and can sometimes be very mean. She sometimes wants to talk to me I think to comfort her but then she gets angry with me and it seems like nothing I say is right. I try to talk to her calmly and be helpful but nothing works. Sometimes she apologies afterward but its still very hurtful. I don't want to be told I should break up with her because we've been together a while and I want to marry her some day I just don't know what to do.
I suggest you walk out on her when she treats you badly. If you don't live together, and you're at her house, walk out immediately. Or if she's at your house, tell her that her behaviour is unacceptable and she should leave and not return until she can be civil.
In short, people will treat you in the manner you accept. You have to show her that you won't accept this behaviour.
If you do live together, it will be far more complicated. I hope you don't!
how often does this occur? and how mean does she get?
having a bad day and wanting some space is okay or even being a little moody if you have done something wrong but if this is completely random and regular you should not tolerate it.
if she puts you down, calls u names or says things that are not true-you need to put your foot down and tell her you wont be treated this way.
also the best thing to do is to ignore it or just dont tolerate it-you could just walk away into another room and wait for her to come and apologise (thats if it doesnt happen very often)
this way shell see she is in the wrong.
if its more regular you need to stand up for yourself
Put your foot down. You're not there to take the brunt of her moods and she needs to grow up but until you show her that she'll continue.
I remember my father telling me my mother was the same way....years before I was born.
One night he basically grabbed her shoulders, firmly shook her and looked her in the eyes and said never to act that way again.....she never did.
Not condoning his approach but it worked
Maybe she just needs a little time to herself when she's in a bad mood. I know that when I'm in a bad mood...I just need some space. But if she's mean or disrespectful (does she call you names? ) then you need to have a talk with her.
bluerock,
when women get moody and want to talk, what they actually want is someone to just listen. As a man, you'll be very tempted to give her solutions when she talks, men always want to fix things. However, what you need to realise is that men and women use 'talking' very differently. Women use it as a source of venting their feelings, they find it relaxing and therapeutic.
The next time she wants to talk, just listen and support her. Nod your head and make 'listening sounds' such as, uh huh...yes...etc. Don't give her answers. Compliment her, and support her in responses. That's it. I promise you it will go 100x better.
Good luck. :)
Dump the bitch.
Well some guys have a spot of their own to go to, a workshop, the basement, the garage.
this is something you shouldn't miss to visit and read
tellmehowtobehappy.com
P>M>S> Feed her some frickin Midol and chocolate, then avoid her for about a week. Go out and drink beer with your buddies during that time.
Maybe a girl has some serious issues in her life and she doesn't want to share it with you or maybe she is just not mentally stable. Maybe she needs profesional help! Everyone is moody and has a bad day, but when I am with a guy. He is suposed to make me happy. I can get moody only by the way he treats me, if he treats me badly. Maybe you are the one who is making her feel moody and angry? Are you insecure, posessive? For every reaction there is an action. Why don't you talk with her and ask her what is her problem.
I mean dude its obvious you don't do something right with your communication, mostly men never understand how to be a comfort to a woman. What I mean by this is that when a woman comes to you and says what is bothering her, men mostly don't know how to respond and they respond in a wrong way. If she is talking to you about her problem for 30, 40 minutes and you just say something back in 2,3 sentences its wrong! Men's brain is different, I know. But be more sensitive if you are not. We just don't want a men to hug us and kiss us and say it will be ok, don't worry. We want a man who is there for us, who is mature and who can talk to us as a best friend when we need him. If you can't handle it, leave her. Or as I said she needs profesional help!
I agree. This is a wonderful suggestion.Quote:
Originally Posted by amy37 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
As amy already said, she might just be looking for someone to listen to her. My roommate is like this. When she tries to talk to her fiance, he jumps into "fix it" mode and it just makes her madder. Best to just listen and be there for her. But I don't think her getting mean with you is right either.