Gina wrote to me in June 2012. I was briefly dating another woman at the time and didn’t respond. Two weeks later this other woman broke up with me and about the same time Gina wrote to me again out of the blue. I mentioned the break-up and Gina was supportive and very nice to me. We wrote and texted for weeks. I lived about 45 minutes away from her at the time. One night she dared me to come out to her house and put a rose on her car. I did and she spoke to me through her upstairs window but wouldn’t come down to see me. It all seemed kind of romantic at the time.
We met again a week later at a park in her town. She was a very interesting person, highly sensual, somewhat childlike, a bit of a tease. We texted for weeks afterwards. Most of it dealt with how she didn’t sleep around, and she didn’t have time to date because of her two jobs and 4 kids. Somewhere along the way, I mentioned that if I had a girlfriend I could help her financially. We eventually came to an agreement where I would meet her in a hotel room and have sex for $200. I felt fortunate to break my one year dry spell and didn’t really expect it to become a regular thing.
We have met pretty much twice a week since then. I have almost always paid her varying amounts from $50 to $200. She has a pretty severe problem with prescription drugs and alcohol. Sometimes she would literally pass out in the room. She also would lie about stupid little things. I also found out that she had met up with past boyfriends on at least several occasions for sex. She has always been very secretive about her time and whereabouts. She deletes all of her text messages. She used to text naked pictures of herself to other men and they would reciprocate. She seemed to really enjoy the attention. She brags constantly about the attention she gets from men and shows me their naked pictures. She has remained on dating site all this time.
So this has been going on for 8 months now. One time the condom broke, so we stopped using them several months ago. She had her tubes tied so there is no risk of pregnancy. I have moved an additional 45 minutes away now. Between the cost of the room, helping her financially, buying her drinks, meals and gifts, it has become very expensive, not to mention the travel time and time away from my home is disruptive to my life.
The sex is fair. She doesn’t do a lot of things in bed. She won’t let me see her completely naked. She doesn’t like to kiss. We just talk, cuddle, and have intercourse and that’s about it. Occasionally I go down on her. I am not sure she has ever even orgasmed during all this time. She has made it clear that we will never be a couple in the traditional sense.
As for me, I am 48 years old and divorced. I haven’t dated much in the last 15 years and really don’t enjoy dating at all. I work in a cubicle and rarely leave the house except to work. I am a homebody, and somewhat socially anxious. I dislike talking on the phone. I am not unattractive, but I think my personality is rather bland and boring. I am finding myself to be very lonely despite having Gina in my life. I long for a real, loving, committed relationship but have all but given up hope. I am tired of being broke all the time because of the financial demands of this relationship. But I fear giving it up because I have nothing better, and no real prospects for the future. This is all making me feel depressed. So I would like to hear some advice about what I should do. Any input would be appreciated.
