why are men so quick to jump in but so quick to jump out?

Im skeptic about guys and their feelings. Often times I think they dont know what they want and find it hard to take them serious. For example, Ive dated plenty of guys who were at first quick to jump on the idea of dating and being in a relationship... "i like you or i think youre cute." After a while, they question themselves... I understanding dating is a filtering process but I wonder do guys ever think about other qualities aside from physical traits? Or is it all fun and games in the beginning? And I do apologize, I dont mean to degrade men. Im only thinking from a mature perspective.

If you're wanting to take a mature perspective, it would be wise to start by not putting all men in the same bucket. Men differ in attitudes just like women do.

Primal instincts I'm afraid. Men and Women, more so men, are visual and attraction plays a massive part of 'jumping in' so to speak. You see someone you like, chance your arm and if you get lucky, great. To develop something further is harder for a man as our maternal instinct is far less than that of a woman, however if you find someone that attracts you and is interesting and you get along with on a day to day basis without feeling awkward chances are that the relationship may develop. It's a two way thing of course but Men are primal and sex is always our first objective, sounds harsh but it's the way we are wired.

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Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If you're wanting to take a mature perspective, it would be wise to start by not putting all men in the same bucket. Men differ in attitudes just like women do.

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Indeed I understand they do, why it requires Me more than a few butterflies and dates to catch an interest in a guy.... QUOTE my random thought.

Maybe the problem isn't your physical attributes..

Depends on the guy, some are really in it for the fun; others do look for a serious relationship.

Depends on the type of guys you like or maybe you just keep on attract ing the wrong type of guys

Maybe it isn't even entirely the guys she picks; it's important to evaluate yourself, to be sure you aren't doing anything to scare them off..

We aren't all like that

It's just the natural human behavior in males. I'm too lazy to shorten this and put it in my own words:

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Most males are promiscuous (Bateman 1948; Leakey, 1978).(6) Genetically, it is the most practical course of action. The more females with which a male mates, the greater number of offspring containing his genes are possible. In addition, the cost of sex in terms of time and energy is considerably lower for the male than the female. It is therefore in the male's (and thus the male's genes') best interest for the male to mate with as many females as he can.

Thus, a male's criteria that a female should satisfy can be quite simple: 1) the female must be healthy to carry the fetus to term and support it after birth until it reaches self-sufficiency or puberty; 2) she must be young enough for greater viability, health, and ability to support offspring long enough after birth for it to reach self-sufficiency or puberty; 3) impregnable condition. As is apparent, all of the above criteria are physical and usually obvious to the male's eyes or nose. In other words, a male can quickly see and/or smell whether a female fulfills his criteria. For example, a female cockroach releases pheramones (a chemical scent) when she's sexually ready that draws males from everywhere. The female chimpanzee's sexual organs swell and redden when she's receptive, and the males line up in hopes of mating with her. Nothing else is important -- to the male.

In addition, the sex act is of paramount importance to the male; it is how he impregnates the female. She must therefore be receptive to him. After that, his concern is having more females to impregnate (Bateman 1948). He may try to ensure that his already mated females don't mate with any other males, but the more successful he is with the former, the less he probably worries about (if those are the words for something he doesn't think about at all) the latter.

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Could it be that are attracted to you at first and then find that you're not a great match for them? It may not be about playing games at all - more an issue of compatibility.

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Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Could it be that are attracted to you at first and then find that you're not a great match for them? It may not be about playing games at all - more an issue of compatibility.

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that i cant disagree. i think im a decent looking chick, a little too sweet and down to earth that men often find me bland or boring when in fact i think im just matiure and dont have time for games. after a while, they loose interest or im just a little too serious for them to handle. aside from that, i think im your typical normal girl. fun size and always full of energy who loves too smile.

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Originally Posted by shesjustnotin2u [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

im just a little too serious for them to handle.

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Not gonna sugarcoat this, I consider that to be a red flag. One of the tests I'll put a girl through to see if she and I will be compatible is - can she laugh at herself and laugh things off? I put her through this test by playfully busting on her, acting silly, being slightly childish at times (in a fun rather than obnoxious way). Depending on her response I might go "holy shit I could end up marrying you" or "sorry but you're attitude reminds me too much of my Aunt's, and she's a 60 some odd year old bureaucrat. That's just not attractive to me".

Usually the test is incidental, as the way I described it's administration is really just my personality anyway, it just happens to work out such that I get some useful feedback on whether or not she and I might legitimately have a future together.

Of course, not all guys are like me. This is only one guy's take here, but I wouldn't be surprised if you are indeed too serious for a lot of these guys.

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Originally Posted by shesjustnotin2u [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

that i cant disagree. i think im a decent looking chick, a little too sweet and down to earth that men often find me bland or boring when in fact i think im just matiure and dont have time for games. after a while, they loose interest or im just a little too serious for them to handle. aside from that, i think im your typical normal girl. fun size and always full of energy who loves too smile.

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Youre perfectly fine. You just need to keep fishing until you meet that compatible guy who wants your bait.

Tip: Avoid men who believe that men have "primal instincts and there main mission is to be promiscuous and get lots of women up the duff"

A lot of men don't think that way ^^^ and are therefore "relationship material"

Also if you are young-under 20. You should probably just avoid men for awhile until they grow up a bit.