Unsure of feelings for someone. + the concept of soul mates.
I have never believed in the concept of having a soulmate or being on the same wavelength as someone else until I experienced it myself. I know the concept of soulmates might sound ridiculous to some, but please hear me out, as I need to establish some background first.
I am extremely similar to this guy. We are about a month apart in age, we have the same major, same favorite color, same hand size, same foot size, same height, and are about 2-4 pounds apart in weight. But this is just the beginning. Sometimes he tells me that he picks up his phone (just to check the time or something) and in that instant, he'll receive a text from me. Many times, the same thing happens to me as well. We Skype chat every day, and sometimes I'll just get up to do something without saying so--and this happened twice: I left to brush my teeth without announcing it, and returned only to find out he had brushed his teeth during the exact same moment I did.
The creepiest part of all this is that we met online on Omegle.
I remember that there were 40,000 people online that day. It was a one-to-one matchup with a stranger, and I happened to match up to someone who is literally my twin. (What are the chances of meeting someone who has the same interests, is the same age, has the same hand/foot size and is an insomniac like I am on Omegle? And the list goes on, too.) The funniest part is, he told me later that he almost disconnected from me because the interest tag we had connected on was so general. And before connecting to him, I had almost left to take a nap but told myself that this stranger would be the last one, because my eyes had started to hurt from staring at my laptop for too long. We both almost missed each other.
Our first Skype call happened on the day we met and lasted 12 hours, and it was kind of difficult to talk to him at first because we both kept trying to talk at the same time between the pauses in our sentences. He guessed my last name AND the state I lived in on the first try. Sometimes, I'll say "I'm hungry" and he'll say that he was JUST about to say that too. (This also happens in reverse.) There's also this drawing charades game, where people draw something online and everyone tries to guess what it is. When we're both guessing, we guess the same things--and I know he's not copying me, because the guesses show up at the exact same time on the screen.
I talk to this kid every single day. When we're not Skyping (either text, or call), we're texting.
Now, I never really thought about him romantically until another online friend brought it up (she is friends with both of us)... she thought we had something going on from the way we typed to each other. After that, I realized that we bicker a lot. Tons of name calling and playful banter.
And now I can't stop thinking about it. I can't deny that I think about him a lot. I'm not sure if it's because I talk to him so much, or if there's something more going on here. But there's obviously some kind of connection--as really great friends (twins even), or something else--I have no ****ing idea. I mean, we talk for hours almost every single day. All of our silences in voice call are comfortable ones (we both acknowledged this). And those little coincidences--the timing of our texts, leaving the computer to return at the exact same moment, finishing each other's thoughts or sentences... they happen almost too frequently to really be considered coincidences anymore.
I never get butterflies when I think about him, but is it just because I'm so comfortable with him? I haven't liked someone in years and the last crush I had made me get a ton of butterflies. I don't know what's going on or if I even like this guy at all, or why I think about him so much and why I can't STOP thinking about him (mostly at night... I signed up for an account tonight to post this at 3am because I can't stop thinking). I've dreamt about him twice--nothing romantic, but I'll be lying if I say I've never thought about us together.
This probably sounds really stupid but it almost feels like it was goddamn fate. It was Omegle, a 1-to-1 chance, and it was two people that pretty much read each other's minds on a daily basis.
Does anyone have any idea what... this is? What I'm feeling? Do I just really value his friendship? Do I like him, or am I starting to like him? I'm so confused. I don't even know if he likes me in that way.
(If you got this far, thank you for reading this monster post haha)
