I don't know what I had til I lost her and now i want her back .

so I went to Blanche Ely High School and ever since I went there it was this girl named Brittney that I seen since day one and she told one of her friends to tell me I had nice lips . I noticed that through every relationship I had in Ely I would always think about Brittney . so that was almost like we was meant to meet each other . Then at the end of my 10th grade year before summer vacation , I finally gained the courage to talk to her and I asked her for her number . We talked for the whole summer and everything was like magic between us . But at this time she liked me way more than I liked her . She has had a problem trusting people in the past and she trusted me . During the 11th grade year she started to lose trust for me because she used to go around and tell everybody that she talks to me and that she really likes me . Then one of her friends claimed that I talked to every girl in the school and then that kind of disappointed Brittney and then thats when Brittney started to lose trust for me because I told Brittney she is the only girl I want to talk to but she heard different .
So then one day me and her was walking to our class together and then I took her to the corner and I asked her for a kiss but keep in mind we aren't going out . She gave me a kiss on the cheek , I asked why not the lips .? She said because she don't know where my lips been . I understood why she said that but I got mad and then she shook her head in disappointment . So I called her that night and I apologized she forgave me . Then throughout the 11th grade summer she left to go to jamaica and then she called me back with her new number . so the 12th grade year started and I found a different girl that goes to Dillard High School , but this girl always cheated on me and left me for other boys and then came back when they didn't work . Brittney tried to tell me that she feel like that girl isn't right for me and that I should leave her . I told Brittney **** you I cussed her , you just trying to ruin my relationship and then I hung up on Brittney . Brittney called me back 6 times but I never picked up . That same night I realized Brittney tried to help me and I realized I wanted Brittney . So I called Brittney back the next day she said I can't believe what you did last night . This is when the tables turned I want Brittney now as she wanted me too . So I called her one night and then I asked her to let me pick her up from home so I can take her to school and so we can talk and that is when we started to reveal our feelings for each other . Now the problems I had is that I always lied to her and she doesnt like to be lied to at all because she gave me numerous times to fess up to my lies and I never did and plus I strated to get more nervous around her . she said the things she love about me is that I'm funny , that I always bring her spirits up , that I'm always there for her and that I like her for her . So this si where the problems came in . I started telling a lie about what I had . I used my sister's car but I told her it was mine and she figurred out it wasnt mine but she gave me chances to fess up and I continued the lies , I lied about a lot of things and that caused her not to trust me . I started to love her . Then I also started to feel more nervous around her so I wsn't being myself and that caused me to never have things to talk about , I made conversation boring and I stopped being my spontaneous self and caused me to stop being funny around her because I tried to be someone I'm not and I wasn't being the old me that she first met and the old me was someone she loved . She used to tell me to stop texting her and just call her but I was scared to call her because I thought I would mess up the conversation . But everytime I'm being myself me and her have a perfect time together , its just that I was so scared when I was around her because of the sudden feelings I grew for her , and then I messed up because she used to love when I made progress and when I made her like me more , but I used to mess it up all the time because I would do something out of character or lie to her . So eventually she got tired of it and then she found this dude that is the complete opposite of me and he never lies , he always be himself and always acts like a man , and is never scared when he is with her . So she started to go out with him . so as I leanred that I love her i decided to call her and tell her the truth about everything so it would be no lies because I decided that Brittney is the girl I want to commit my life to and be with forever and marry and have kids with . But then before I could even tell her she told me she knew I was lying about the car and everything she was extremely hurt and she told me about her new boyfriend then she told me don't ever call ehr phone again . I cried and then I called her back and then she talked about the situation with me and how her hurt her . So she went to jamaica that winter break and then called me to tell me merry christmas and she explained to me that she knows if I could learn how to be myslef again and stop being scared and be my funny spontaneous self and if i could stop lying to her that I could gain her trust back and that we could have the perfect relationship forever . S she came back from jamaica and then she let me see her the day she came back and we kissed that same day even though she had her new boyfriend . So then she smiled at me and asked me why did I do that . So then they been together since January but she has been letting me see her and then she thought he is perfect boyfriend but she don;t know that he is cheating on her . God showed me a dream that he was cheating and then that dream came to pass . Then I had many dreams thar me and her would be together again and I got those dreams after I prayed to God . He even told me that me and her is meant to be togetehr but he had to show me a lesson and I learned my lesson so I can be a better man for her and for myself . he is also putting her with her boyfriend who she "fell in love with so fast " because Brittney will value me more . I have changed my ways for Brittney and Brittney said if I can change then she know me and her will be a perfect couple and be together forever . So i need help because my gut told me we will be toether again and God told me and showed that we will be together and that we are meant to be . But how can I show her I changed .? and that this dude ain;t right for her because he will hurt her in the end , I'm the one that wants her and only and I want her back and when I get her back I'm going to keep her .

If you are relying on God's messages, why can't you just walk in faith that whatever happens between the two of you will be directed by a Higher Power; NOT by you and NOT just because you want it!
If God wants you to have a chance to show Brittney you've changed, you'll get one. You are trying to control everything. And, YOU cussed Brittney out? Just were do you think you get permission to be disrespectful to someone you care about?.....or anyone for that matter. Do you think cussing Brittney out and hanging up on her will draw her toward you with fond feelings?
"I always lied to her." This is a self esteem issue. Would you want to be with someone you couldn't trust or who lied to you all the time? Good for you, though, that you are working on change. I applaud you for that. Work on being a man with integrity and you will attract many good things to you. Good Luck. Ann

yes I know thats why I said I realized all of my mistakes and I'm working on changing . But God also won't help me unless I am helping myself . I love her so much and regret everything I did I wish I could go back in time and do things over I would still be with her today . But when I get my second chance I will do it right and make her mine forever . But tell me how can I be a better boyfriend .?

You are right - God helps those who help themselves, and I'm happy for you that you had the insight to realize what you needed to work on changing. But God also has a plan in mind for you, and it might not include this woman...we don't know. So just don't try to force anything and stop ruminating about this - it will not help anything!
And, even if you did everything correctly, we don't know if you'd be with her today! Right? You're just making that up.
How to be a better boyfriend to her or anyone?
1. Women like intimate conversation. I'm not talking about sex, although we like talking about that too when the time is right. I'm talking about sharing how you feel about life, dreams, hopes, fears, family.
2. Women love to know that the man they are with are interested in them. We know this when our man asks us questions about what we like, our fears, dreams, hopes, etc. I can't tell you how many guys just talk about themselves and their aspirations.......boring - a turn off!
3. Women like to have agreements about how the relationship works. For example, are we monogamous? Do you like me opening the door for you? When you are upset, how can I be supportive, what would you like me to do? When we are upset with each other, can we agree to take a time out and then talk about the issue calmly? And these items are discussed BEFORE situations come up.
4. Women like little gifts - not expensive, necessarily - just little things that tell them you thought of them, and that you care. I remember someone telling me that this guy brought her a little rock with his name painted on it. He hoped she would carry it in her pocket so he would always be with her. Little corny stuff like that often melts a woman's heart.

Hope that is enough for a start. Take Care, Ann

if I would have continued to be myself and never lied about things , me and her would have still been together today . And I treated her kind of bad without realizing it sometimes . She wanted it to work between us , but at the time I just took things for granted . Now she found a dude that did things right and that opened my eyes abotu what I need to change , that was a lesson from God , and I know I will get her back because God showed me that I will be with her again and God is no liar . If I did everything correctly I would be with her today and forever because she is a girl that never changes and as long as I can have intimate conversation for long hours with her , make her laugh , spend time with her and show her I care and is always honest with her . Hey I juust answered my own question now I'm going to get to work and make Brittney mine . Thank you so much for the advice , Ann .