Moving on? But how...

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15-06-05, 06:44 AM
Cherika

Moving on? But how...

Okay I know, so you probably get tons of these but I had to post how I feel somewhere. I had to tell someone, anybody, the truth. I know the answer to this myself so im not asking what to do, im asking how to move on. It's the hardest part and im really not very good at it, so I need your help with it, your advice and your tips, if you'd be so kind...

Recently me and my best friends boyfriend became really good mates. Now I didn't think it would matter all too much, I mean shes really close with her guys best mate so why can't I be good friends with her boyfriend? I didn't realise I'd end up feeling like this...
I like him and I hate myself for it. I used to read those glossy magazines and rant and rave about stupid girls being in the same situation. The idea of someone betraying there mate just angers me so much. Which is why I really hate myself so much right now, because I honestly can't say that if he tried to kiss me i'd pull away.

I think he likes me too. I shant give my reasons to this as knowing my luck someone that I know will read this and be like "Wait a minute thats what blah-blah did" etc etc But anyway I think he does and im not the only one who thinks it. Ofcourse I haven't told anyone how I feel, I can't risk my best friend finding out. It'd ruin everything. I don't want to feel like this, I wan't to move on. But I find myself thinking about him more and more, this whole situation is driving me crazy. I feel so down. I couldn't go out with him even if he dumped her, atleast I don't think I could. I know how much she'd be hurt and she means too much to me. I just can't help but wish things were different.

Already my mates started commenting on things that hes said and done, implying that he fancys me, in a sort of jokey manner ofcourse. Thats what she always does when she's serious, tries to turn things into a joke. I just have to laugh it off. I don't want her to find out and hate me.

Don't tell me its going to take time to get over him because thats really not what I want to hear. Already ive started distancing myself from them but im worried that they'll notice and start questioning me why. Im just tired of acting and lieing all of the time. Perhaps if anyones been in the same situation they may have some usefull advice for me? It would be much appreciated.

-Yours sincerely-

Cherika
15-06-05, 07:21 AM
whaywardj

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherika

I didn't realise I'd end up feeling like this...Already ive started distancing myself from them but im worried that they'll notice and start questioning me why.

Sounds to me as if you're doing the honorable thing, and that you should keep on following your instincts in the matter. If anyone should ask why you're 'behaving differently', go on being honorable and tell them the perfect truth. That you felt yourself having what you think are inappropriate feelings, and this is what you have to do to cope with them. If they're real friends, they'll support it, and might even use your example as a lens through which to look at some the things they might be doing. If they're not real friends, they'll have reactions (anger, alarm, outrage, shock...whatever) that'll just muddle up the works.

This saying has helped me think over a lot of things over time. Might have some use for you:

"If they matter, they don't mind. If they mind, they don't matter."

FWIW
15-06-05, 07:30 AM
Asip4u

I'm in a similar situation...This girl I like has a b/f ..I tried to forget about her and move on and she insisted that she wanted to keep in touch even after i told her how i felt. I accept the fact that we may never be anything more then friends, so that's what you have to realize, it's really the key. Take his friendship if you can handle it and if something happens (naturally) down the road, it happens, so don't force anything. In the mean time, have your own life and don't get so focused on him. Good Luck!
15-06-05, 10:37 PM
Tone

Wow you're a really sweet girl stuck in a sticky situation, but it's stuff like this that make us who we are. You'll come out for the better from it in the end, no matter what happens, cause you are doing the right thing. Just life's way of testing you and helping you grow. ;)

I'd follow Hayward's advice. Best of luck.
15-06-05, 10:48 PM
artyemi

Quote:

Originally Posted by Asip4u

I'm in a similar situation...This girl I like has a b/f ..I tried to forget about her and move on and she insisted that she wanted to keep in touch even after i told her how i felt. I accept the fact that we may never be anything more then friends, so that's what you have to realize, it's really the key. Take his friendship if you can handle it and if something happens (naturally) down the road, it happens, so don't force anything. In the mean time, have your own life and don't get so focused on him. Good Luck!

Just asking, Asip4u, are you hoping that something happens naturally down the road?

I'm getting sidetracked, but I just don't understand why people who knows that someone has feelings for them insists that they keep in touch even after you've tell them how you've felt and they're with someone else. Don't they know how much it hurts you to see them with someone else?