An Awkward Situation

Hello guys,

I generally live somewhere hotter in winter time for 4-5 months. Last year, I met somebody there who atracted me so much. We were neighbour and also doing the same job (artist). However he had a girlfriend (away) and although we liked each other we were trying to be just friend because he did not want cheat his girlfriend. But in time we got so much closer, very open each other and we ended up having an affair. Then I had to go to my hometown due to my job. After 5 days I left, hisgrilfriend arrived to live with him and they have a really good relationship since then.
We also continued to write each other as friends, still very close. I was thinking I was gonna forget him and see him as friend.

However, this winter I again went to that place to live 4 months and saw him with his girlfriend. At the beginning I behaved normal to them. But we were in the same group of friends because our job is same and within a short time they began to be very good friends with my best friend. Also all of my other friends loving them so much. The grilfriend and most of my friends was not aware of our last year affair. He was trying to be friend with me, inviting me his house for party etc (I did not go) But the more he try to be friend with me the more I got far away. I was seeing them everyday and I tried to be friend with them but because they have sooo good relationship I got jealous, could not resist to see them together every single day. I began not to see my friends, left my job because they were everywhere... I had to be close friend with them.

Although he saw me I got so depressed because of this situation whenever I see them he was kissing, hugging, complimenting his grilfriend in front of me without hesitating. They are couple, of course they will do these things. But he did not even tried to understand my emotions when I see them like that. They took all of my friends, I was spending my time alone. Nobody was excluding me but because they were so intimate I just could not resist to see them. On the otherside I am happy for them but it is so hard for me to
see their perfect relatioship because I still feel something for him and I am not able to get over him.

I have to be close friend with them otherwise my friends will get far away from me. I dont know what to do.

You should have realized something like this would happen when you got involved with a guy who has a girlfriend. At this point, it's best for you to keep your distance from them. If you have other people from that group of friends that you want to stay friends with, just invite those people to hang out with you alone or in a smaller group.

i have no sympathy for you. i cant believe youd hang out with the two of them and even try to act normal. i hope the truth comes out and she dumps him. there relationship is far from perfect-its all one big fat lie coz he was messing around with you! do you have no shame? feel no guilt? and what about him pretending to be the perfect partner! asshole

youll both get your karma. maybe your next man will cheat on you-then youll no how it feels to be betrayed

Some people just never get to make this kind of mistakes in life and others need to learn lessons this way. As you say, it's hard for you emotionally at the moment. Maybe if you could try to detach of your feelings for him and stop liking the guy. Easier said than done but work with you and try to see him as someone who is in a happy relationship and you felt attracted to but not anymore. Trust that the right man for you is somewhere out there and you'll find each other at the right time. Also remember that no heartache or uncomfortable situation last forever, all is temporary and overcome eventually. You could do with a good friend now, wisely chosen that would not judge you and support you by giving you attention when you become uncomfortable in gatherings that you feel you have to attend. But most important you need to find peace and strengh within yourself and you will :)

find his flaws, and if it helps concentrate on them..it may be best to invite few friends separately over to your place or somewhere different, if your really feeling desparate talk to him alone when no one else if around if you can and just tell him that your finding it difficult and if he wants you to be quiet then can he tone down the lovey dovey stuff a tad so your not trying to scream or pull your hair out everytie your around him, and just keep with your friends, or make some new ones and broaden your horizon..

you should tell him to tell his gf the truth. Its wrong to live a lie like that! I dont know how anyone can say they love someone and then lie to their face! Makes me sick