Ashamed, but I have to do something
Hey everyone.
I'm ashamed to say this, but back in 2011 I cheated on my gf... We were on a long distance relationship for two years, and I guess I drifted apart. I've been feeling horrible ever since, and she found out later that year. We've been struggling tremendously to make things work out again (we actually lived together for a few months), but it's been emotionally exhausting, and eventually this year we broke up.
To this day she insists I did nothing to win her back, and I feel at a loss because I really don't know what to do... She's precious to me (the simple fact she would be willing to take me back says everything) but lately even our friendship is at risk as she still says I haven't done anything to make things right... We got to a point where we don't know if we should be together as a couple (a lot of conflict, a lot of emotional weight), but we're still best friends, and my sanity depends on her being a part of my life, and I know she feels the same.
So, we got to the point where we're trying at least to save our friendship, but there's still the weight of what I did and her lack of trust in me, and I really don't know what else to do to to save us... Help...?
Thanks
PS: I know what I did is horribly wrong, and I've been feeling guilty for it ever since, and I always will, and it will never leave me, so please, please, just help me on what I can do to make things better instead of nailing me to a cross... I do that to myself everyday, so don't worry...