Why am I afraid of what I want?
I've always been a hopeless romantic dreaming of the day I meet my soulmate. But I'm also afraid at the same time.
When I have my eyes in a guy and he seems interested, I often sway between wanting to try a relationship with him and freaking out about having picked the wrong guy and possibly getting stuck in an unhappy marriage. See, I think too much. My parents never seemed happy to me. Old happily married couples are a rare sight to me.
There's a part of me that thinks I'm not ready, i don't know what i want, and I still need to work on me. But being single all my life (while sometimes fun) does get pretty lonely.
I'm so bitter and jealous of all the coupled girl friends around me. Heck some are engaged or married.
My indecisions have cost me a few potential boyfriends and have also caused me to consider if I might play for the other team. In the end I may just be another angry single straight girl. I think I need help? Advice? Anyone experience something similar?