How to stop liking a friend?

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29-04-13, 02:20 AM
Overanalyzer

How to stop liking a friend?

I'm sure plenty of you have been in a similar situation before, so just looking for advice on the best way to deal with it. After my last relationship ended a couple of years ago I vowed to steer clear of relationship or even expressing interest in one for at least 4 or 5 years. I made friends with a girl a few months back, got on pretty well initially. Can't say I was instantly attracted to her, but attraction has developed over time. She's taken, but we've still been pretty flirty on nights out with each other. I came to the realization that I like her a lot a couple of months ago and told her but it has been easy enough to deal with it. Last Wednesday though, it went a step further. We were both drunk in a nightclub, I told her I liked her again, she said she liked me too and we kissed. She text me the next day saying to her it didn't happen, so basically her intentions are clear; the friendship is more important than any failed attempt at a relationship. That's how I interpreted her message anyway, also got the vibe of regret from it. Problem is I haven't been able to stop thinking of her since the kiss and it's driving me a bit crazy. It's leading to unhappiness and moping around the house feeling sorry for myself. Does anybody have any advice on the best way to accept that the friendship is more important, and that I need to stop trying to screw that up by wanting more? Basically, how can I stop liking her that way?

Thanks for any help, and apologies for the long post!
29-04-13, 03:24 AM
smackie9

Dude she is taken that why nothing is going to happen. Stop hanging out with her, and hang out with male friends instead.....at least you all have a common interest....getting with girls.
29-04-13, 03:51 AM
pcmaster

Smackie is right.

Cheat on her with as much friends and girls as you can and even more ! :)
29-04-13, 04:50 AM
Overanalyzer

Quote:

Originally Posted by pcmaster [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Smackie is right.

Cheat on her with as much friends and girls as you can and even more ! :)

Had a feeling that would be the suggested way of getting over it
29-04-13, 06:42 AM
doomedromantic

I don't think there is a specific way to get over a friend.I don't think any of those suggestions above will help long term but distance will help. As much as you fool yourself that you need her as a friend, if she is a good friend like you said she will still be waiting for you once you are over her and can see her as a friend as again.
29-04-13, 07:50 AM
VerticalMoon

Forget the friendship. She has somebody else in her life. She's not ready to give them up.

If you continue hanging out with her, things will remain complicated, and you'll still be miserable. You can't shut off your feelings. The only way to get over them is to break off contact with her. You'll miss her at first, but then you'll start to get over her. If you stay any contact with her, you won't. You'll just get more attached, and it will get worse. You don't need that.
29-04-13, 04:03 PM
Overanalyzer

Quote:

Originally Posted by VerticalMoon [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Forget the friendship. She has somebody else in her life. She's not ready to give them up.

If you continue hanging out with her, things will remain complicated, and you'll still be miserable. You can't shut off your feelings. The only way to get over them is to break off contact with her. You'll miss her at first, but then you'll start to get over her. If you stay any contact with her, you won't. You'll just get more attached, and it will get worse. You don't need that.

What if she was giving the other person in her life up though? I'm in the unfortunate position where its impossible to avoid seeing her for the foreseeable future