Advice about young marriage
The reason why I feel so down is because I am basically mentally abused. My wife has lied to me behind my back, she has cyber cheated on me multiple times now and she expects me to suddenly feel better without her comfort. I have tried speaking to her multiple times. to tell her why I am so edgy and paranoid when she goes out. We even got a new place last week to try do a fresh start. I have caught her masturbating on her own behind my back yet in the past whenever I have tried to make a move it is a big effort. I am only 23 so my sex drive is still pretty high.
Right now being with her, I don't feel like my self. When I met her at 18 years old, I was really outgoing, went out drinking all the time and had loads of fun. Now. I just feel insecure,pathetic and more. When I have tried to speak to her about how I feel, she calls me weird,idiot and other names. I pretty much get put down everytime. I am the one that is always given into her when arguments start from conversations I try to have with her about stuff.
I tried asking her tonight what I can do to improve in terms of our sex life and she just got angry and told me I am weird for asking stuff like that. I tell her,
I have been trying really hard lately by doing some kind of housework, doing stuff she needs done but I get nothing in return of love and affection. All she seems to do is text her mum and friends not paying any attention to me. Honestly, I am one of these people who try and make other people happy. I have been successful in terms of my own business, I work for my self and make a good living. The only thing is that I get put down in my marriage life. This is not even fully about sex, I don't get that random love and affection I expect.
I also asked her before we moved. I said can we just have the first week of moving to be about us. Spending time together, unpacking, doing whatever else. Enjoy ourselves. This never actually happened. She has had her friend over 3 times this week. She has been out doing her own thing most days, meeting up with friends and so on. Leaving me home alone like before. I also have to put in that, my friends over in Canada, I moved further from them. So I have moved two times for her to where she wants further away from friends. When telling her, I thought this week was about us, her reply was "You can't always get what you want."
Honestly, I am broken down. I am from England and moved to Canada to live a life with her here. This is why splitting up with her is a big choice for me. I know doing so will mean I won't ever turn back. I am already getting new passport as my old one got ruined ready to move back because I am I feel like I have nothing here anymore. I honestly am at this feeling of not caring where I am or if I am alone. I guess the loneliness is what makes me try work things out with her all the time. It just seems like it will never be worked out, no matter how hard I try. I do love her, we have been together for 5 years but she has turned into a completely different person I met 5 years ago and I am probably different now as well as I have been put down very low.
The other reason why I am mentally drained is because she is happy about getting stuff for our place, having this fresh start and everything but I still don't get this vibe of love and affection from her like I used to.
Apperently, me going online and finding advice is also strange to her but her in the past finding guys and talking dirty to them isn't? I dunno, I feel like it is always one way and I am to the point of not knowing what to do...
I could write a lot more and this would probably turn into a book but here is a small example of how I am feeling right now.
I could really use some good advice because right now I don't feel like I have anything but my work.
