why didnt he talk to me about it?

Hi,
basically i was round my boyfriends flat last night and found a leaflet about sexual psychotherapy so i asked him about it. he said that he was making an appointment to go talk to someone about his apparent 'premature ejaculation'. i know hes suffered from this in the past but its hardly ever happened with me. in fact im the only girl hes been with where it hasnt happened. even his ex wife it was over in a few minutes. we can go on for bloody ages and the sex is amazing and he always makes sure im satisfied, even when hes drunk he never ejaculates too soon. so i asked him why he needed to see someone and he said because when we have sex he has to stop himself from ejaculating within a few minutes, but we've been together a year and he seems to have it under control and to be honest ive not noticed anything bad about our sex life. so why didnt he talk to me about this? i would have thought after a year of being together he would have confided in me. i feel a bit pushed out and wish he would discuss it with me especially as i cant see anything wrong but obviously he can x

Just because he doesn't with you, doesn't mean he's over his past experiences. Maybe he thinks he's still not living up. Why didn't you talk to him more about it? He seemed pretty willing to talk when you asked.

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Originally Posted by sweetmama83 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hi,
basically i was round my boyfriends flat last night and found a leaflet about sexual psychotherapy so i asked him about it. he said that he was making an appointment to go talk to someone about his apparent 'premature ejaculation'. i know hes suffered from this in the past but its hardly ever happened with me. in fact im the only girl hes been with where it hasnt happened. even his ex wife it was over in a few minutes. we can go on for bloody ages and the sex is amazing and he always makes sure im satisfied, even when hes drunk he never ejaculates too soon. so i asked him why he needed to see someone and he said because when we have sex he has to stop himself from ejaculating within a few minutes, but we've been together a year and he seems to have it under control and to be honest ive not noticed anything bad about our sex life. so why didnt he talk to me about this? i would have thought after a year of being together he would have confided in me. i feel a bit pushed out and wish he would discuss it with me especially as i cant see anything wrong but obviously he can x

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If he knew you were on here talking to us he'd probably wonder why you didn't ask him all these questions you have. Do you think he's cheating on you or something.. that he's a minute man with his mistress and needs to be able to hold out for her? Sorry to be in your face like that, but if you have'nt ulteriour motives for being so paranoid about this then I'm confused as to why you're so paranoid or why you just wouldn't continue on with your discussion by being honest about your fears to him. So I guess I'm agreeing with Backup.

Keep in mind that I think if our men told us everything going on in their head and what they were doing to solve their own problems without us, we'd all be a little surprised. What may not seem like a problem to you could and is apparantly is a problem for him. Talk to him again.

As a broad generalisation: Women discuss their problems before making a decision. Men figure out stuff in their own head and make a decision. Your boyfriend simply figured this out the man way.

I think it's great that you've got a guy who will take action on something he sees as a problem

I agree with Basil. OP, he could have also been in embarrassed, though. Some guys may feel inadequate in the bedroom admitting to their partner that they're having a problem. My first time ever was with a guy who was nervous he was going to cum too quickly during sex. In turn, he felt like he couldn't talk to me because it was an embarrassing topic, and he canceled a few times before we talked through it and discussed what to do. I know that it's a tad different for you given the fact you're in a relationship, but I think it's still a possibility. Maybe he thought if he solved it on his own he wouldn't need to bring it up?

Guys aren't going to tell you everything, especially when it comes to problems they're having.

Get used to it.

Just keep communicating. It sounds like he doesnt have a problem at all but maybe he still fears it coz of problems in the past and needs closure

maybe he is not attracted to you.
if he pre shoots with every one else generally means they excite him way beyond what he can handle

maybe you dont?

sounds harsh, not my intention. just food for thought

Or maybe he feels relaxed and comfortable with her and is not afraid of being judged.. or maybe he learned how to control it over time on his own. or maybe he just didnt get enough sex with his ex and does with the OP.

People always assume the worst on here.