Help! Falling in love with married man?!
Ok well as the title states, help, I'm falling in love with a married man and don't know what to do. Just to give you a quick overview of the situation, I am 23 and have a boyfriend who I have been with for 7 years. My crush is 36 and married with a 6 year old daughter. I know he is miserable with his wife, and so does everyone else. But he loves his daughter more than anything in the world, and that is why he deals with his wife. We work together in a restaurant. I have been there over a year he has been there over 10 years. I am a waitress he is everything. Head waiter, manager, bartender, caterer, etc. he is very close with the owner, top dog, if you will. Well when I first started there I hated him. He was nothing to me, nothing more than an asshole coworker. Oh yea, he's not attractive. At all. Anyway, idk what happened one day we stayed after for drinks and from there I had a little crush on him. We slowly became friends, then we slowly started flirting casually then the flirting became so intense he would slap my ass. Fast forward there were a few times we were drunk and fooled around. Well it was after the most recent occasion that I found myself a mess over him. After this one he also stopped talking to me for a week. He would avoid me then if he did have to say something it would be robotic and neutral. Then one day he was back to normal, and we had a deep conversation about my life and my boyfriend and he wants to help me with the shit in my life etc. it's like he has a radar for when I'm finally starting to be ok without him then he drags me back in to this vicious cycle. What am I supposed to do. I never expected this to happen. It was just supposed to be fun and games. Now I have serious feelings for him. I cry all the time bc I can't have him and wonder if he feels the same way but can't tell me bc of his wife. I also can't stop thinking about him sexually. I just want him fully one time then I can move one. I am a mess. Idk what to do bc he has power where we work. I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable bc he could go to the boss and say something to save his own ass. Should I have a talk with him? Should I just sit on the sidelines in agony? What am I supposed to do? How so I get over him? It's at the point where id wait for him if I knew he would def leave his wife. Help!!!