What does he want from me?

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19-05-13, 08:45 AM
Karichu

What does he want from me?

I broke up with a guy a while ago. We went on full NC but he always breaks it (I never did)
Broke it 1.5 weeks after the breakup. Had a few awkward conversations. Then one month NC. Then he broke it again. One month NC. He broke it again, and this time I said I needed space. He left me out for 1.5 month, then broke it again.

Finally a while back, he text me and asked to hang out. He was a great friend before we started our relationship, so I said yes. We hung out, acted a bit like a couple (like I will put my hand around his arms when we walk and hug him and he will tease me like he used to). But then again, the conversations were a bit stiff and he seemed to be not interested or be spacing out.

Still, he text me in a more-than-friends way. He made plans, but I was busy and I canceled two last minute. He got a bit pissed, confronted me about but gave me one more chance. I went this time.

Again, he is quiet and I talk all the time. He always seem to be thinking about something else, but then act in a more-than-friends way, and I hated that. I even asked him to go to a concert with me and he said no, he doesn't want to see a concert.

I don't know what's up with this guy. He contacts me and does all the things, but he doesn't follow up to it. Why text me when he is not interested when we hang out? I feel stupid always going out with him. I have other guys chasing me but I didn't go out with any of them because I'm still a bit held up on this guy. He's acting like he want to get back together one second, and then he's taking a step back the second. I really don't know what he is thinking.

Short while ago after we started hanging out again, he have his grad graduation and he invited me. Said he really hope I can make it. I said I really can't confirm and he said what is more important than sharing this moment with him...wow.

Why is he keeping me around......?
19-05-13, 09:02 AM
lalalita

Why does it matter? You broke up with him and act as if him contacting you when you agreed to no contact is bothering you.
19-05-13, 09:02 AM
Zaz01

He wants you, silly. He just acts like a kindergarden kid who likes a girl and doesn't know how to show it and then punches her.
19-05-13, 09:09 AM
Kromat83

I think he just wants your attention, and your giving it to him.
I wouldn't want someone to take me somewhere and then act all different.
Is this what you really want ? is he worth all the effort, when you clearly don't know what he wants ?

You need to be upfront about this, that it's making you uncomfortable, and not keep saying yes.

If you say that other guys can chase you, maybe you should tell him to stop contacting you permanently.
Doesn't seem like a relationship seems realistic with him as a friend or couple again.

If someone was doing this to me, i be get fed up, and just avoid them altogether.
19-05-13, 09:17 AM
Karichu

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kromat83 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think he just wants your attention, and your giving it to him.
I wouldn't want someone to take me somewhere and then act all different.
Is this what you really want ? is he worth all the effort, when you clearly don't know what he wants ?

You need to be upfront about this, that it's making you uncomfortable, and not keep saying yes.

If you say that other guys can chase you, maybe you should tell him to stop contacting you permanently.
Doesn't seem like a relationship seems realistic with him as a friend or couple again.

If someone was doing this to me, i be get fed up, and just avoid them altogether.

I didn't give him as much attention as he gave me. He text me first 80% of the time, and is the one who always makes the plans. But then when I really came out, he acts friendly and close, but sometimes seem a bit down/spaced out. I mean, I feel that he is scared that I am not interested, but I did show that I still like him (or else I would never came out, let alone do all those things with him) and he still did not mention about reconciling. If only he asked, I think I would have given this relationship a second chance.
19-05-13, 09:21 AM
basilandthyme

You say that you'd be interested in giving the relationship a second chance. But have the problems which caused the breakup been fixed? If not, it will fail again.

Having said that, if you're not enthusiastic enough to initiate the conversation about a second chance, then I guess it's not that important to you.
19-05-13, 09:22 AM
Karichu

Quote:

Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You say that you'd be interested in giving the relationship a second chance. But have the problems which caused the breakup been fixed? If not, it will fail again.

Having said that, if you're not enthusiastic enough to initiate the conversation about a second chance, then I guess it's not that important to you.

I wanted to talk about it, but when we go out he never mentions the past. Like it was never there. I don't want to break this little friendship we have by mentioning the broken past. Well, honestly it was the small things that broke us apart. I think we can fix it.
19-05-13, 09:26 AM
Kromat83

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karichu [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I wanted to talk about it, but when we go out he never mentions the past. Like it was never there. I don't want to break this little friendship we have by mentioning the broken past. Well, honestly it was the small things that broke us apart. I think we can fix it.

If he keeps wanting to see you, there must be a reason, why don't you share your feelings then ?
Why must he initiate something, when you clearly want some answers from him ?

You have to decide what you want, and if he can't give it to you, then you need
to find someone that will let you experience what you want from a partner.
19-05-13, 09:36 AM
VerticalMoon

Maybe when he appears to be spacing out, he is actually wondering about your relationship but is too shy or scared to say anything. I think if you're interested in giving it another go, you'll have to say something. It won't happen if you're both hiding your thoughts from each other.
19-05-13, 03:03 PM
smackie9

We can't give you a definitive answer, you have to step up and take matters into your own hands. Start the conversation by saying "You keep asking me to see you.....please tell me what's on your mind for I am willing and open to hear whatever you have to say".