Age gap

Hi, the thing is that I'm 31 but i look like 5 or 6 years younger, so I always get asked, flirted by guys younger than me (from 23 to 28 tops). I find dome of them really attractive and would love to date them, but I feel like they would take me seriously if they find out my age (and usually I say it right away, to avoid disappointing), I feel like they would think of me just like a cougar who wants a one night... Or that even if they think that I'd want something serious, I believe that they are not going to be interested in having a 31 years old girlfriend...

facts: i'm single and I don't consider myself attractive but somehow I have the boy's attention.. but sometimes I have the idea that they are more attracted to my body figure than my face.
Most of my friends are below 28 also, and I'm used to go out (not crazy clubbing, just some pubs, lounges, friends parties, movies, coffee, etc.), I enjoy dancing a lot, having a few drinks but not get drunk, making new friends form different counties, etc.


any thoughts?

redbb, unless you're wanting to have babies really soon - I can't see any problem with you dating a younger man. Especially one who's 25+

I say stop worrying and have a bit of fun.

Go for it, Ive always like older women, less drama with them. Take yourself seriously and so will they. And if they don't, they don't know what there missing.

Dear redbb: I've known people with 30 year age differences, so consider yourself, "normal." Age is a construct. Relationships are not about chronology but about mutual caring, respect, etc. Also, I do hope you go look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful - 10 times a day - until YOU believe it. You sound awfully hard on yourself. Where did that come from? Ann

When I met my wife I was 23 and she was 28. We ended up getting divorced but the age gap wasn't the reason the marriage didnt' work.

31? Not that old. I mean if you look 25 then even better! Guys like young woman because they we are pigs and usually are more about looks. We are to shallow to care about your actual age if you look like you are 25 we are good...hahaha I wish that wasn't so true for 90% of men.

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Originally Posted by Ann Schiebert [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Dear redbb: I've known people with 30 year age differences, so consider yourself, "normal." Age is a construct. Relationships are not about chronology but about mutual caring, respect, etc. Also, I do hope you go look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful - 10 times a day - until YOU believe it. You sound awfully hard on yourself. Where did that come from? Ann

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I'm a bit hard on myself, and I think it comes from years of hard experiences during school (bullying basically, from both boys and girls on my class). I thought I was over it, but after my divorce I began to think about myself again, what plastic surgery should i get, etc..
You know my most common thought is that I should have a nose job during summer and change school...
It was easier to believe it when I had my husband there telling me that he love me. (And he was my first boyfriend and i was his, so for a while I thought that he liked me just because he didn't knew anything better... for example bigger boobs). I know it's like a lot to think about yourself, but i cannot help it... The last guy that I liked on a bar and asked for my number, a few messages after he asked me to friend him on facebook and after I did and replay his last message directly there, he didn't answer at all, no more contact. My guess: he was drunk when he asked for my number, and when he saw my facebook pics he regret it. Men ARE shallow..

Dear Redbb: You have what I call, "other esteem." You let what others think, or what you imagine they think (more likely) determine how you feel about yourself. And you are in a downward mode. Look at what you just said above: you said that some guy met in a bar is determining what you think about yourself....(my words - but actually what you said). This is sad! I am never against plastic surgery if it is for a good reason, but you have a much deeper issue here......you think you are all about your looks. And those terrible bullies at school also thought you were also all about your looks.....so now, all you are doing is bullying yourself, just like those mean kids in school did. WOW.....Please get some counseling about this issue. I wish you well. Ann